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How easy is it to do just a morning and evening BF?

(20 Posts)
Miffyandme Sat 28-May-16 22:46:02

Feeding DD2, aged 1. DD1 switched to formula at 6 months having stopped night feeds on her own and ate well - weaning just seemed to happen and felt right.
DD2 has always had night feeds. She will take a bottle of formula if need be and has good food intake including plenty of dairy products.
I need to stop night feeds. I'm knackered and return soon to a high-stakes job with a long road commute. She doesn't just wake, feed and go back to sleep, night feeds take a long time and she is constantly "pawing", grabbing, is uncomfortable for me and I lose a lot of sleep. Day feeds are much easier. She can do full days at nursery fine - may take some bottle. I don't get too uncomfy.
DH thinks I should stop BFing as he says I moan about it now. My family agree.

My question is how practical would it be to just do morning and evening feeds, plus additional feeds in the day time as she needed when I am with her. I feel uncomfortable when she shoves her hands down my top. I want her to get the health benefits but unless she is ill and night feeds would help I really want to stop. The only people I meet in real life still feeding at this age are real earth mother-types who are all co-sleeping and feeding toddlers on demand.

Is it possible to feed in the pragmatic way I am hoping for, or am I setting myself up for difficulties?

Experience welcome, please no judging. I do feel proud to have fed for 1 year.

Miffyandme Sat 28-May-16 22:52:54

Ps and I realise how "judgy" I sound in my statement about "Earth mothers" - I'm sorry, I am very very tired. I don't mean it to be disparaging, but when I have been to local breast feeding groups and phoned a breast feeding helpline, I've felt that it is "all or nothing" - I just haven't come across folk who are still feeding at 1 year old but not feeding at night. None of them seem to get good sleep. I coslept for the first few months but reached a point where it became impossible as she is constantly rooting and needing to be attached. I cannot get good sleep like that and I have a two year old as well as work so I can't get much good daytime rest.

searchingfortheanswer Sat 28-May-16 23:00:10

Totally doable. I have three children, age 4.5, 2.5 and 5 months, all EBF. I went back to work full time after the first two when they were 1 year old to a City job and by then was down to morning and bedtime only (the baby is still on the boob full time but Inplan to do the same). I didn't really feed during the day at weekends with #1 but did v occasionally with #2. So they were used to only mornings and bed time. Then the morning feed was dropped and last to go was bedtime. I fed the older two until they were about 16/17 months, which in each case was about the time I got pregnant again.

I doubt anyone would describe me as an earth mother...! I wasn't co-sleeping - the older two were in their own rooms from 4 months ish, #3 went in his own room at 5 months. I did an 11pm dream feed with all of them (by bottle with EBM for #1 and 2, straight from boob with #3). #1 went through from dream feed with some gentle persuasion at 4.5 months, then dropped dream feed after weaning at 6 months. #2 was still waking after dream feed at 4am until about 7 months then went through 7-7 ish from 8 months. #3 is still having dream feeds at 11 and 3am (I am trying to drop the 3am).

I think with the hands down top thing just gently remove her hands and say 'no', but be very consistent.

Any particular questions you have? Not sure Inhve actually helped...

StylishDuck Sat 28-May-16 23:01:36

I had dropped down to just morning and evening feeds by the time I went back to work when DD was nearly 10 months. She hadn't woken in the night for a feed since about 7 months (I know, I'm lucky!) After a while she dropped the evening feed and then dropped the morning feed when she was 1. I know that's a bit younger than your DC but my point is that I managed it fine and she weaned herself quite quickly. I would say though if you're feeling ready to stop then stop. Don't feel guilty, you've done so well to get this far.

Brosie12 Sun 29-May-16 00:33:48

Totally doable! I did it at 10m when I went back to work. I pumped like mad for her to have a good freezer stash for when i wasn't there, but had lipase problems so had to bin it all. confusedShe had no problems with combined feeding after that.... Good luck. X

catsofa Sun 29-May-16 00:59:31

Sounds fine, I've just started comforting but not feeding my 12mo when he wakes in the night, and he's started sleeping through, finally! We are co-sleeping but have been feeding at more or less set times (before naps) during the day for a while now for my sanity.

Miffyandme Sun 29-May-16 02:06:34

Thank you! That gives me hope that once we get the night feeds stopped I can continue feeding.

Did your babies just naturally stop the daytime feeds of their own accord? And did you find yourselves having to say no to requests to feed at other times? I feel a bit selfish but I'm wanting to get back to wearing normal bras, tops that don't need access and so on.....

lullaby23 Sun 29-May-16 05:22:55

Definitely possible, I night weaned DS at 11 months and I'm a SAHP! He mostly sleeps through now unless teething, jet lagged or has a cold. He's now 13m and I still feed him 4 times a day - wake up, after am nap, after pm nap and bedtime. He is really not bothered about day time feeds but I still offer, but loves the wake up feed so my feeling is he will drop to 2 in the not too distant future.

Minesnotahighhorse Sun 29-May-16 06:31:30

Totally doable! By the time I went back to work at 12 months i was just feeding DS morning and evening. I was lucky that cutting down during the day happened quite easily, led by him. I went by "don't offer, don't refuse" and he just became less interested. We stopped completely at 14 months as I was ready (wanted to do a year + the transition to me going back to work) and it was much easier than I thought. Dropped mornings first as it was getting tricky to fit it in and then evenings when I was stuck on the tube one day and he happily went to sleep for DH with no boob! I'm hoping it will work out the same way for DS2 (currently attached in an 8 weeks growth spurt feeding marathon). Good luck!

gubbinsy Sun 29-May-16 07:10:53

Agree. Think I stopped night feeds around 15 months with some gentle persuasion. Carried on with morning and evening till just before he was two - I was pregnant and it was painful. Dr Jay Gordon night weaning method was good for us - quite gentle so takes a week or so but managed to keep me going rather than giving in so he'd just go back to sleep!

RamonaTheGreat Sun 29-May-16 07:23:29

Totally doable OP! I have an 18mo who has a feed first thing in a morning and last thing at night and it was a combination of distraction tactics during the day and forgetting that it was an option to breastfeed on my part when he woke up at night (tiredness!).

He still sometimes wants an extra feed at 5pm-ish if he's not napped well or is feeling under the weather but this is the exception rather than the rule and I'm happy to acquiesce because it makes life easier. Not an earth mother type here; pretty laid back and 'whatever works' style of parenting but I like my own bed/space and DS is very independent and outgoing, not at all attached or clingy.

I am A bit about the amount of people who shock over the fact we're still breastfeeding at all but that's a different matter!

Miffyandme Sun 29-May-16 08:28:40

Thank you for your replies. I can now tell DH that it is doable. I will look up the Jay Gordon night weaning again and plan how we do things.

Babettescat Sun 29-May-16 08:47:38

My DS is 7 months old and I am very successfully Doing morning and evening feeds only. Morning feeds get us the lie ins on weekends smile west of the time he has formula and food wth his childminder and doesn't wake at night!

museumum Sun 29-May-16 08:52:13

We used "no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth pantley to stop feeding to sleep or at night at all. I was feeding morning only at about 13mo.

Miffyandme Sun 29-May-16 13:29:17

Museumum, is the gist of the no cry sleep solution that you find other ways to comfort your child instead of the breast? I find it a really difficult read on my kindle!

museumum Mon 30-May-16 13:25:03

The gist of it isn't that helpful as there's lots of Q and A in it for different situations but the bit I used was the gradually stopping feeding to sleep, you feed them if/when they want it but then stop before they're asleep. But if they crazy you can start again. In time you separate the feed from the going to sleep bit. We ended up with a bedtime that had bf then stories then sleep and night waking stopped.

Miffyandme Mon 30-May-16 15:03:04

Thanks, I'll try and find that bit. I don't find the kindle version too user-friendly!

wonkylampshade Mon 30-May-16 15:10:06

I'm still not back at work and only feeding dd2 (18m) in the mornings when she wakes. It's absolutely achievable to reduce the frequency of BFing with a bit of patience and a fe distraction techniques. Good luck!

BertieBotts Mon 30-May-16 15:13:08

The prase you want to search on Kindle is pantley pull-off.

BertieBotts Mon 30-May-16 15:13:55

Which sounds a bit rude grin but it's not.

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