Should I complain about lack of BF support?

[loopybear]

DH and I took DD to a fireworks display last night (she loved it) at my friends party afterwards a friend of hers was shocked when I fed DD. Saying I came across as the earth mother type and she thought I'd BF. I then explained about failing to BF, my heartache at having to FF and pharmist suggestion a couple of weeks ago that my milk not coming in was probably due to PCOS and that had I been in NZ I'd have been given drugs to help and that he was sure I could have been given drugs here if I wanted them (would have if had known about it). She then said I should complain so that if there are other women with PCOS who undersupply (some over supply and others just supply normally) that they don't go through the same thing. I thought I'd let go of the whole issue but have been stewing on it all day. Just wanted to know what you all thought?

[loopybear]

oh and who should I complain to if I do?

[fullmoonfiend]

If you google your local Primary Care Trust, they should have a complaints procedure with details on what your next step should be. Depends what you want...it might be that you can complain that you were not given enough support and information as a new mother on feeding and are raising this in the hope that other mothers will have better support. But IME, if you are hoping for an apology or some recognition that you feel wronged, they are notoriously reluctant to say sorry.

Personally, I should try to 'let it go'. You can't change anything now (I'm presuming it's too late for you to try to bf) and as a new mum, you have so many more challenges ahead of you to devote your emotional energy to. You do the best with what is available at the time. You can make sure your daughter is loved, and nutured and secure and well fed and well brought up and goes out into the world a happy and fabulous human being no matter how you feed her as a baby IYSWIM.

[loopybear]

I've let go of it for feeding DD am fortunate she's here, she's happy and well fed. I thought it may be an issue to raise awareness, I had great antenatal and labour care and recognise that MW's are over worked and under paid.

[fullmoonfiend]

well in that case, go for it! Maybe talk to your HV in the first instance?

[moondog]

I wouldn't let it go Loopy.
Flagging it up may save another woman the pain and heartache you have gone through.

They need feedback to know that what the powers that be offere is frankly shit.

Hunkermunker undertook a similar exercise.Have a look out for her.Am sure she would be delighted to help you.

[loopybear]

Thanks moondog I do feel passionately about other women not going through what I went through because of a lack of understanding will look out for hunkermunker

[WhizzBangCaligula]

Letting it go emotionally isn't the same as letting it go practically. For your own sake, of course you should do the former, but for the sake of other women and children as well as yourself, you should do the latter. Just one letter (although it might take days to write it) - and it might change things. It took me 6 months to complain about my treatment in hospital after I'd had DS, but I still felt it was worth it. If no-one complains, the bastards don't need to change anything, do they?

[Elasticwoman]

I have PCOS and have successfully breastfed 3 children. I have never heard of PCOS being responsible for milk not coming in, but I would say that in general, milk supply is less plentiful for a first baby. I thought my first baby was very colicky, but with hindsight, maybe she wasn't getting enough milk. Certainly, when she first took solids at around 5 months, she put on 19 oz in a week! But I'm glad I never supplemented, because it is the quality rather than the quantity of milk which is important, so long as the baby is gaining weight at all (after the initial loss in the first week or so) in my opinion. Now she is 12, borrowing my clothes and in no danger of fading away.

[loopybear]

Elastic I had did start a thread after seeing pharmasist. It appears like all PCOS symptoms it varies. But LOL at daughter borrowing clothes

[Elasticwoman]

I used to be an agent for Ameda Egnell breastpumps. Once a woman came to me for a pump, saying she had switched to formula a week ago but regretted it. A week later she brought the pump back, saying it had done the trick and she was now back to breastfeeding! Sucking at the breast stimulates milk production. It can be done, loopybear, although I'm not saying it's easy or that you should do it. Your decision on how to feed your baby is yours, and based on your own unique circumstances and preferences. Never mind what people at parties say; and in any case, as I understand it you succeeded in breastfeeding for at least 17 weeks, which is longer than many people.

[perkywoo]

I would at least make the complaint if only to help future Mums. It annoys me how women are encouraged to breastfeed, but there is actually very little help when you run into problems. I am breastfeeding my 2nd baby, but tried several breastfeeding counsellors who either didn't answer the phone or were useless when they did (with one exception). I have also asked several hvs about coming off the breast and they're really non-committal. The main thing is that you tried and your baby is happy and healthy.

[Elasticwoman]

There is help with bf apart from counsellors, midwives and HVs and that is the new babycafes which are springing up. (Google Babycafe to find your nearest). These are informal gatherings of nursing mothers, usually in a church hall or similar, and there is usually at least one bf "expert" on hand to discuss problems with. Those mothers who find bf easy are lucky; for me it was very hard at first and I just had to have faith (that I could do it) and perseverence. I certainly reaped the benefits later when it became easypeasylemonsqueezy and an all round great experience.

[3andnomore]

I would complain if I was you, because, even though it won't change anyhting for you, it may help with changing it for others!