Help? :(

[youaremychocolatecake]

My baby is 12 months, I've been ready to stop breastfeeding for aeound 6 months, he hasn't.

I've pretty much stopped feeding in the day but all this has done is increased night feeds.

He currently wakes wvery 1-2 hours and wants breastfeedinf back to sleep, however not content with this he wants to suckle all night meaning I don't get any sleep. If I try and get him back in his cot, all hell breaks loose and we have 2 hours of screaming/feeding/picking up/putting down. It's all a big mess!

I have a 5 year old too and his sleep is being disturbed. My partner isn't very supportive and just thinks it's all my fault for breastfeeding so long (I know!) so getting him to help isn't an option.

I'm so exhausted I've actually started to feel ill. I keep crying, I'm grinding my teeth and clenching mt jaw in my sleep, I've recently returned to work and just feel wrung out.

An Indian mum at the school recommended I try aloe vera and run it on the breasts to get him to stop as they don't like the taste. He doesn't care!!

I really feel like I just need to stop breastfeeding. I've started to resent each feed and that can't be good for me or him.

My question is, how? Do I just go cold turkey at this point? How long will it take? Etc. He has never accepted formula and will drink a tiny amount of cows milk from a cup with food but not if tired, Etc

I hope someone has some advice for me, feel miserable :(

[FamiliesShareGerms]

Have you tried a dummy if what he really wants is suckling for comfort?

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Bless you please don't be hard on yourself you've done an amazing job.
I tell you my experience but hopefully someone will come along with more advice for a 12 mon old.
I was in a similar boat with dd at 19-20 months. She was still waking in the night for milk and she was falling asleep on the breast- so no else could put her to bed.
So we went cold turkey on the milk and Basically the first we had to do was get my oh to get my dd to sleep, he cuddled and rocked her- and the same if she woke up. first few nights there were a lot of tears but after 4 nights it was a lot quicker and she wasn't getting upset.
After about a week of me staying away from dd room while my oh put her to bed I could start putting her bed she asked for the milk but I just cuddled and shooshed her to sleep.

Milk wise dd would drink formula or cows milk in a cup or bottle. So health visitor advice getting enough calcium in her during the day so I give plenty of milk on her cereral, yogurts cheese etc throughout the day. But speak to your Hv about that to double check as my dd was older so maybe slighty different.

Sleep wise we really improved. Whereas before she was up 2-3 every night -now she normally sleeps through from 8-7. About once a week we have a crappy night where she's up once (tonight's the night!) but generally much better. If she does wake up/- I offer her water and then put her bum to sleep.
Anyway that was how I did it which may help- good luck OP and you've done a great job so don't be hard on yourself :)

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Wow that was long sorry!

[Wishfulmakeupping]

*wouldnt drink formula or cows milk in bottle

[Hazchem]

I'd have a look at either the No sleep solution or Dr Jay Gordons night weaning. Neither method are super fast but should help you find something workable. I'd also say it'm important for your partner to be involved in the night time parenting otherwise you'll still end up tired.