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To get really annoyed at being told this [title edited by MN]

(29 Posts)
EllasMum16 Sat 30-Aug-14 15:47:03

My little one is breastfed exclusively.

But she was topped up with formula in the first few days of her life as she was tongue tied and not able to feed properly and I couldn't express until my milk came in.

Have had several women tell me I cannot say my girl is ebf because she has had the dreaded formula (like ebf is some kind of stupid club rather than a reference to baby's diet).

Have seen so many women bashed also for giving bottles of formula in the evening so partners can take over and they can get some rest.

Now I know that breast is best (of course I know that, otherwise I wouldn't be doing it!) and it is important that it's promoted but AIBU for thinking that this should be balanced with the needs of the baby and the mother and that too many women are having a go at other mums for their choices?

Fairylea Sat 30-Aug-14 15:48:39

Yanbu but yabu to use "breastfeeding nazis".

We did this topic to death the other day.. have a look lower down on the the page for "can I ask about reasons for formula feeding" or something like that.

PenisesAreNotPink Sat 30-Aug-14 15:49:12

Drop the 'several women' - they are not representative of anyone who breastfeeds

And drop 'nazi' while you're at it - it's offensive

BOFster Sat 30-Aug-14 15:49:54

Can you not use the word Nazi to describe something so trivial? It's pretty offensive.

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Aug-14 15:50:55

Just drop the friggin subject or post it in the right topic! grin

EllasMum16 Sat 30-Aug-14 15:51:11

Apologies, I've heard several people use the term before so I thought it was the norm. My mistake.

DiaDuit Sat 30-Aug-14 15:51:19

what they^ said

you know who the actual Nazi's were and what they stood for right?

Hakluyt Sat 30-Aug-14 15:54:04

I. I don't believe that people rally say this stuff in real life
2. Your common sense should have shown you that using Nazi in this context is offensive.

Cantbelievethisishappening Sat 30-Aug-14 15:54:41

Does it really matter? Why would you actually give a shit about the opinions of anyone else when it comes to feeding your baby. hmm

hollie84 Sat 30-Aug-14 15:55:37

"Breastfeeding Nazi" is a horrible term.

Sounds like you just have mean friends? I don't think I've ever had a conversation with someone about whether they breastfeed exclusively and have never heard anyone get "bashed" for giving a bottle.

QuintessentiallyQS Sat 30-Aug-14 15:56:33

I disagree with the word Nazi here, but I completely agree with your sentiment.

But be careful, as the attitude you describe, is prevalent here on the BF topic, and a reason why I had to hide the topic. Even here you may end up shot down in flames for daring to suggest to a struggling and frassled new mum that an evening top up with formula can save her sanity and stop her from giving up on breastfeeding all together. So in your shoes, I would just keep quiet sagely, and keep this knowledge to yourself.

hollie84 Sat 30-Aug-14 15:56:46

Though I can imagine if you are making a song and dance about your baby being exclusively breastfed other people might roll their eyes and point out that actually she's had formula.

StrumpersPlunkett Sat 30-Aug-14 16:01:11

I am assuming that you are meaning something like this

Greythorne Sat 30-Aug-14 16:35:27

Yet to see any breastfeeders segregate Jews, enforce the wearing of yellow stars before systematically forcing them into trains bound for extermination camps. Have you?

QuintessentiallyQS Sat 30-Aug-14 16:36:35

Oh come off it and stop derailing. I have often seen the term "breastfeeding nazi" used here. OP is not the first. (And wont be the last I suspect)

Isabeller Sat 30-Aug-14 16:42:52

Well done for persisting at bf.

It's not difficult to upset people without meaning to when you feel strongly about something.

Were the people who upset you at a breastfeeding support group?

Booboostoo Sat 30-Aug-14 17:20:40

I don't get the point of your post: do you want to use the term ebf while mixed feeding? Why would you ever want to do that? I have no problem with anyone who choses to mix feed or ff but if they call it ebf they are miscommunicating and messing up any statistical information health care professionals may be interested in.

2-3 days of ff and then 6 months of ebf would be ebf for me, btw, but if you mix feed (which is fine by me) then you are mix feeding not ebf.

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived Sat 30-Aug-14 17:25:09

I honestly don't understand where this comes up in conversation. I can see that you might say that you breastfeed. But who in day to day conversation says 'exclusively breastfed'? I think the only time I have ever said that is in response to questions from hcps.

How has it come up OP?

tiktok Sat 30-Aug-14 17:31:39

It's obviously a real shame you are upset by people pointing this out. Where did it happen? How many people would even know your baby had had formula early on? Why would they comment? Who on earth cross examines a mother to find this out? Do they really say 'when you said your baby is exclusively breastfed you are wrong 'cos he had formula'. I mean who says this sort of thing?!!

The odd time in here someone will raise their eyebrows if someone says they are using formula but it's really rare, here and in real life. There are several threads going at the moment where mothers are using formula and no one has batted an eyelid!

Would love to know about these sticklers for accuracy in your life grin

Glad to see mn have edited the title of your post.

SauvignonBlanche Sat 30-Aug-14 17:33:52

Glad to see thread title has been changed.

quietlysuggests Sat 30-Aug-14 17:58:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catkind Sat 30-Aug-14 18:01:01

If you're just breastfeeding you're exclusively breastfeeding, no quibbles there.
I think I read somewhere that there is evidence that a small amount of formula in the early days does change their gut bacteria long term, so from some precise medical points of view she might not be seen as an EBF baby. Can't see why that would ever need to come up in conversation though.
My DS was the same having had formula in hospital thanks to poor advice and me not having a clue. I don't remember anyone being snooty about it ever, and HVs still ticked the EBF boxes for us when I felt obliged to say "except from..."

aciddrops Sat 30-Aug-14 18:07:11

What is ebf? Never heard of it when mine were babies. (The eldest is 13 and the youngest is 8)

Is it a new award for the best mums?

tiktok Sat 30-Aug-14 18:26:53

Ebf means 'exclusively breastfed'. It's actually a research term, really. I hardly ever hear it in real life. Babies in studies are classified into exclusively breastfed, predominantly breastfed, partially breastfed and things like that. It's a way of recording how a baby is fed, that's all.

Cat, you are sort of remembering the virgin gut theory which posits that a small amount of formula changes the gut not long term but for about three weeks.

It's not at all unusual for a baby having probs to have a small amount if formula and then to no longer need it.

In research terms a baby may be recorded as excl bf if he is only having breastmilk at the time of asking, anyway. It depends on the study.

tiktok Sat 30-Aug-14 18:28:57

Still waiting to hear details from the OP about who was making these comments and in what context.

Otherwise I continue to boggle at it all smile

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