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Help with stopping to BF

(16 Posts)
wantmyboobsback Sat 18-May-13 10:53:08

DC2 is now 13mths old and I'm wanting to stop bf. He still has 2-3 feeds a day and likes to comfort feed during the night. If I refuse to feed him, he just screams the house down.
He's not that interested in cows milk, will take a few sips from his sippee cup, but that's about it.
I think a big part of the problem is the comfort feeding(and dare I say it, feeding him to sleep).
Can anyone offer any advice on how to wind down? I was considering just going cold turkey (expressing every now and then to alleviate any engorgement), but not sure if that'll be a bit traumatic, for him, not me)?
I need to stop as I'm going away in a month for a week (and I'm ready).

Trizelda Sat 18-May-13 10:59:10

Hi. I was in a similiar situation a few years ago. I had got into the habit of feeding my daughter back to sleep just so I could get some sleep myself. When she was 10 months old I just made up my mind that I was going to stop. So, for example if I was feeding her back to sleep 10(!) times a night, I decided on the first night I would only feed her 9 (!) times. It wasn't a real feed just a comfort thing. I walked, rocked or just held her when she cried. Next night I only let her latch on 8 times etc etc. Within 2 weeks she was weaned and it was much easier than I ever thought was possible! You have to be in the right frame of mind to do it and put up with a few lousy nights but it was worth it and less traumatic than going cold turkey. Good luck!

wantmyboobsback Sat 18-May-13 11:06:02

Thanks Trizelda. Thats exactly the position I'm in, he wakes every 1-2 hours and looks for some comfort. Did you have a rational as to which feed you refused, eg was it the first time she woke?

Trizelda Sat 18-May-13 16:23:33

I can't remember really (she's 13 now!!). It was much easier than expected and she slept really well after that. I would probably have gone for a 'feed' I think and stretch the gaps between??

rubyslippers Sat 18-May-13 16:27:13

Reduce the night feeds by 1 minute every other night for gentle night weaning

Distract in the day

Cold turkey would be traumatic for you both and increase the risk of mastitis etc

NeedlesCuties Sat 18-May-13 16:27:46

Bumping for you OP, and I'm very interested to know the 'answer'.

Have turned to formula for my 9 month old DD for her daytime feeds in the past few days, and she's taking 3 FF during the day to replace her usual BF. She took to this no problems and my boobs are holding up okay too! She won't take it from me though, so only if DH or my DM are around to help.

I still BF her first thing in the AM and at night....
.... I did this cuz she wakes up lots during the night and I feed her back to sleep for comfort. I'd half thought this was because she wasn't taking her fill from BF during the day, so wanted to see if formula filled her up more. So far it hasn't worked, but I'm hoping I can gradually cut down the BF and she'll just stop wanting them herself.

Sorry that wasn't much help blush

Trizelda Sat 18-May-13 18:31:48

Sorry...that should have said a 'middle' feed.

whatsoever Sun 19-May-13 04:17:47

I'm in this process at the moment and I won't lie, I'm finding it very hard. So far I've swapped one daytime bf for one ff per week (I tried every 3 days but the engorgement was agony).

At night, I had got into the habit of feeding DS every time he woke because when tiny he genuinely only woke when hungry, which was 1/2 time a night. However as this was now 4+ times I had had enough. He's 7 months old.

I decided to feed him the first time he woke at night to make sure he wasn't hungry or thirsty and then cuddle/rock/pat him back to sleep the other times, with DH's help.

It's been mixed, I think it's safe to say! Currently expressing at 4am to relieve the pressure as he hasn't woken at all tonight. Last night he woke 4 times - fed once, settled quite quickly the other 3 times. Night before that he woke 7 times & nearly screamed the house down.

atrcts Sun 19-May-13 19:31:25

Can you offer a formula bottle as a top up and gradually offer less breast? That way you could drop a feed every week. I suspect cows milk isn't a sweet enough substitute!

fhdl34 Sun 19-May-13 19:49:40

I've just managed to get my 16 month DD to stop feeding to sleep by telling her I'm counting to ten and then after that milkies goes night nights. The first few times she stayed till 10 and I had to delatch her but now she comes off of her own accord before 10. I then rock and sing to her. I did it because my supply had dropped due to pregnancy and there wasn't enough milk to get her to sleep so the first few nights she wasn't very happy but is now fine with it

wantmyboobsback Sun 19-May-13 19:52:29

Thanks all for your responses. Unfortunately the little monkey won't entertain a bottle, let alone a formula filled one. He's not to averse to cows milk, but won't take it it large quantities. I guess I'm not too concerned if he won't take milk for a bit once I completely stop bf (dc1 refused all breast milk substitutes for quite a few mths) as he can get his calcium elsewhere... It's just the actual stopping.
So, last night I actually recorded how many times I was up to him (6) and will do the same over the next few nights, see if there's any pattern and begin refusing one of the comfort feeds. I think I'll drop one every 2 nights and see how I get.
Thank you all for you help.

wantmyboobsback Sun 19-May-13 19:54:51

I WILL get my boobs back! grin

FredKiller Sun 19-May-13 19:56:12

I night weaned DS at 20 months using the jay gordon method (have a google). It's super gentle and was remarkably painless. This was my priority as I am pregnant and could no longer cope with getting up all night, but I kind of hoped it'd lead to him weaning in full. It took under two weeks but he was very ready for it as he was only having a few token sucks each time he woke.

Once night weaned, we worked on DH putting him to bed, in preparation for me being indisposed with the new baby. Again, it was surprisingly easy.

The rest i left up to him.

Now he's 23 months and hasn't had a feed in well over a week. Yay, but also sobbb... Very mixed emotions about it!

CreatureRetorts Sun 19-May-13 19:57:30

Could he be bothered by something hence waking up so much? It might might be an indicator of mild dairy intolerance if he doesn't like cows milk much which would fit with the constant waking. I only saw improvements by switching to non dairy and soya sources of calcium or mine until they outgrew it from 18 months onwards.

wantmyboobsback Sun 19-May-13 20:08:10

Creature, yes, he may have issues with his adenoids, we are investigating, which could be causing him to wake, he has a little way to go to see if that's the case and for them to do something about it.....but I'm under time pressure to stop the bf (and more than ready to stop too), so looking for the best way to approach the wind down for us both.

CreatureRetorts Sun 19-May-13 20:31:10

Where's the pressure coming from!?

To be honest, giving up BF might not stop the wakings... Hence asking what could be the cause. Why is it taking so long to sort the adenoids.

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