How to give up bf a 2 yr old(16 Posts)
I know there has been a recent thread on this, but I got bored of reading all the offensive comments..
So, without any comments on why I might STILL be bfing my 2 year old, I feel that it is now time to stop. But I am finding this v difficult as ds v grouchy when I say no, esp in the morning and evenings.
I work ft, so it's only an issue when I'm at home (i.e. early morning, night time and weekends / holidays). As with the other poster, he is obsessed with 'boobies', pulls down my top and is generally v difficult if I say no. If there are enough distractions around, it's usually fine, but when just me and him in the house, for example, can be very trying.
Have definitely cut down, but I really want to stop now altogether! Any tips?
I've just done this with my 2-year-old, cut down and then stopped, and it was fine.
I think the main thing was that I'd reached a point where I was sure that stopping was the right thing to do. That made all the difference because it was then easy to say no and ride out the resulting tantrum, same as I would deal with a "no, you can't have another ice-cream" tantrum iykwim. So I'd say if you're sure, go for it.
I'm making a point of having a lot of cuddly time at bedtime with a cup of cows milk and a favourite book and my undivided attention, and he's really enjoying that. (And so am I!)
Mine was a little bit younger, but I found it was very easy to distract her during the day and almost impossible at bedtime. So we cut out daytime first completely, then when that was established, DH did all the bedtimes and nights for a little while, with a bottle of cow's milk (and then a sippy cup) because she was used to taking bottles from him. After a week or so she'd accept a bottle from me instead. And once that was established we went to sippies. I do know bottles aren't recommended after a year, she was about 15 months but it was worth it for me to let them go on a bit longer to make weaning easier.
I bf both DD until 2yrs, the first i forced myself to just stop on her 2nd bday ( nice pressie eh!) because it was a strong date to focus on. The second DD i let it lapse afer her second bday in august until xmas, but then set the date of 1st jan.
So, set a date, first of the month or something, then buy a new inaccessible bra like a sports bra or something, and stick to it. Mine would still want to feel my skin, but eventually used the arm flesh instead! (non bf ladies aint gonna understand that!)
Dont listen to nasty comments, bf followed by a good diet is sooooo important. You've done the right thing according to the World Health Org in feeding til 2, but nows the time to stop and give the gift of independence!
You are the parent and you must be strong. Its difficult, but it will very soon not be a problem. You are not rejecting him because you are still there for cuddles. I promise that after a week he'll know that the bar's closed, but you have to stick to it. After the set date its NO!
Well done Tortoise, that sounded impressive!
Now I took a slightly different approach from you, poshbaggirl, in that I never set a timetable for stopping. The way I think of it is that WHO would like us to bf for 2 years as it's a great start for a baby, but the physiological age for weaning is thought to be around 3 years - with a huge individual range of course - so mums and babies who are happy to go longer than 2 years are still in the normal range.
What worked for me was just going along and planning to stop when it felt right, without a particular timeframe for that.
I thought he'd self-wean like his older sisters - that's a great way to stop bf I think, no tears involved - but in fact he just seemed to stop latching on properly, as if he was forgetting how to do it, and wasn't swallowing milk. Sort of like comfort feeding but it was comfort gnawing. <scream> So I made an executive decision.
I think there're probably as many different ways to wean as there are babies, it's about picking the one that feels comfortable to you.
I may have made it sound like i was deing a bit strict on the date thing, i wasnt! It was just that i knew it was my pyschological issues that were the problem, not the baby being forced to stop. I could see that it was me needing to not want the baby to feel rejected and me not wanting to cut the ties! I loved how i could always soothe the baby with the breast and if i couldnt do that i'd be helpless in soothing if hurt or tired or after a jab or whatever. I just found that putting a date on stopping would help me focus. A bit like saying i'll get all the ironing done by 7pm so i can then relax or some other chore/ reward kinda scenario!
thanks all - well I did pretty much say to myself that I would stop at his second birthday but that has now come and gone! He is completely addicted, and I obviously love to make him happy and comforted and warm and snuggly.. I just also want my body back now!
SO I try to be tough but don't find it easy to do it with any real conviction. Maybe if I just set myself another date in two or three months he will be that little bit older and I might be more firm??
How Weaning Happens by LLL is supposed to be a good book looking at lots of different weaning scenarios.
No worries, pbg, what you say makes complete sense! I set timetables for household chores too (btw what's this "ironing" thing you mention? I'm sure I used to do "ironing" once upon a time )... just wanted to tell my story to highlight to the OP that a "play it by ear" strategy can be fine for weaning too.
I so agree about reassuring them that stopping bf isn't abandoning them and that they'll still get all the hugs and comfort and attention. I'm sure that must make a big difference.
I can relate completely op.
'm up now after an hour of 'chewing' I couldn't take any more.
Not sure how I'll manage as he gets so upset and that goes against my need to comfort him.
Hes also a lot younger than his siblings at the same age so explaining to him doesnt seem to work
I stopped feeding DS 1m shy of his 2nd birthday. We had got it down to just night feeds by then and it was starting to feel uncomfortable - so one night I just said "no". He asked 3 times, each time I said "no". Next night he only asked twice, the next night he asked once and then that was it.
I know we'd probably just reached a natural conclusions to our feeding time and that's why it went so well, I'm not at all smug about it.
You could try dropping any daytime feed first; let him get used to that then slowly ease off the night feeds as well.
Good luck - but he might not be ready to stop yet.
This is interesting
My DD is 22 months - I am ready to stop and she isn't
I know there will be lots of tears from her which I can't deal with
She's a boob addict ...
I stopped bf both of my dc within a month of their second birthdays, and both were totally addicted at the time.
With ds, who was still feeding to sleep, I told him it was time to stop as the baby (dd who was 5 months by then) needed it. He is a very logical little boy and randomly just accepted it!
With dd it was more tricky but as she wasn't feeding to sleep it wasn't too traumatic. In both cases the key for us was removing me from the situation whenever possible. So for a couple of weeks it was DH getting up in the night, getting up first thing in the morning and putting them to bed. We also did it a times when he had a few days off work.
Both mine were obsessed, but weaned without any trauma. Mind you, 6 months later and dd still asks me with a cheeky giggle
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