Stopping breastfeeding 14 month old

[deviladvocate]

I've been reducing the number of breastfeeds gradually for DD3 over the last few months and we're down to bedtime, once or twice during the night and the odd daytime nap feed. I've been working really hard to disassociate feeding with going to sleep and have had some success. The problem though is now DD has grasped that i'm trying to stop feeding her and is getting distressed at bedtime and naptime - she's screaming and waking everyone else. My older two self weaned without too much trouble at 13 and 14 months but although I'm ready to stop now she's resisting so much, I don't know what else to do. I've introduced a couple of teddies for comfort, she already has water so she's not thirsty; my husband's tried to settle her but she won't accept it. Any suggestions gratefully received....!

[Amarach]

Hi Deviladvocate, I'm not so sure this suggestion will be gratefully received (sorry!) but would you think of putting it off for a bit if she's that upset? You have more experience than I do (I've only breastfed and weaned one child) but although I did instigate him stopping I was only able to do it when he was almost ready to give it up. I guess it's much easier to stop when they are 6 months or so and don't know what's going on, but forcing the issue when they are toddlers is hard.
Having said that I know what it's like to be ready to stop! The feed my DS hung onto was the first thing in the morning one. He would immediately pull at my top and scream if he didn't get his way. Mostly I gave in and fed him but decreased the time till it was only a few seconds and then I would scoop him up and bring him off to do something exciting, or give him a ricecake or something. It worked up to a point as he eventually stopped insisting. But not much use to you re. naptime/bedtime I'm afraid. Good luck!

[deviladvocate]

Thanks so much Amarach, I was thinking the same thing too but surprisingly things have moved on in just a few days - we decided to try her in a toddler bed in our room, gave it a big talk up about it being her special big girl bed and DH did bedtime - it was bit cold turkey for both of us and she was initially upset but did settle down and went to sleep - the extraordinary thing though was that she then slept through for the first time ever! We've had three really good nights and one shocker (night 3) where she fed and fed most of the night - last night though she went down with hardly a murmur and hasn't had a feed now for about 36 hours. Startled at how quickly she's adjusted - she's even had a daytime nap in there too, again feed-free!!

[deviladvocate]

Well it's gone horribly downhill from last week - DD's screaming blue murder if i don't feed her and wakes immediately when i try to detach - bedtime has become a huge battle and it's exhausting for us both - i have no idea what to do now....

[NColette]

How are you getting on? I hope it's going a bit better for you.
I've been trying to night wean my DD (almost 14 months). I've been feeding her to sleep and then not allowing her any 'booby' between around midnight and 7am.
We seem to take one step forward and two steps back.
Saying that, she slept for four hours last night and the night before last and she's been aleep for almost four hours tonight. Unfortunately I'm so used to being woken up every hour or two that I'm sitting up at 3am waiting for her to wake up!
I'm not planning on dropping the evening feed for a while but am dreading it. Maybe I'll have to wear her in the Mei Tai to get her to fall asleep.

[TimeWasting]

Babies are ready to wean at different ages. It sounds like she's getting anxious about it and unless there's a pressing reason to wean, you could just keep feeding.
The guidelines are to feed til they're at least two, so although it's not that common in this country, it's certainly not wrong.