Not sitting comfortably- suggestions for us?

[hopingforanother]

Happy new year!

I'm finding it really difficult to bf my long bodied, 17lb, 14 week old ds anywhere other than sat on my sofa or bedroom chair with a big cushion.

He feeds for 50 minutes every 3 hours (we're both content with this and dont want to change it) and going out has become rather difficult because I'm finding he is too big and heavy for me to sit with and hold when at a cafe or wherever. We both end up sweaty, uncomfortable and unsatisfied.

Please let me have your suggestions for sitting comfortably?! It's really stressing me out...

[Zimm]

Hello,

I am also mother to a very long baby (20 weeks) and having the same issue. I tend to prop her head into my elbow on the feeding side and then lean back so her weight is largely supported by my stomach. I think this does reduce speed of milk slightly but this hasn't caused her a problem as she's got very efficient at feeding. It does mean I end slumped back in a cafe chair but it seems to work ok. I agree though - long babies are tricky to feed as they get older! I think we're around the 90th centile for length....(part swedish!!)

[hopingforanother]

Hi Zimm - thanks for replying! I'm so glad it's not just me! Tho sorry to hear someone else is suffering too. Ds is at the top of 75th, but im only 5'4.... No claim to any Swedish heritage- mores the pity!

I find most chairs in cafes have arms or are tub chairs and I have to bend ds in to a backwards z to get him near the action, then like you use the inside of my elbow for support- I do tend to feel like I'm pulling his head off somewhat though. I've tried a chair without arms too but there's no way I can support him.

I'm wondering if I need a sling- have you used one at all?

[MamaChris]

ds1 was 99.6th centile, although I'm quite tall myself, which helps. I found I could cross my legs ankle over knee (not at all lady-like!), support ds1's head on the upper leg and feed from that side, with his bum/body supported on the other leg. need a chair without arms, and be prepared to use a cushion/lean forward/raise upper leg enough for boob to meet baby, but perhaps worth a try?

[hopingforanother]

Thanks MamaChris - what a lovely tall boy you must have! This sounds like v a good suggestion, a kind of guitar holding position? I think will give it a try - I guess I could stick a little cushion in the pushchair basket or a blanket to lean on - I dont think I can raise my leg enough. He's only going to get bigger so I need to come up with a good solution. My DD was a little 6lber at birth and we only bf for a couple of months so it wasn't an issue.

Oh only problem is - I ate SO MANY CHIPS and so much lasagne when I was pg that trousers are off limits, I'm wearing dresses to try to look half decent at the mo - a bit restrictive for leg crossing....

[Zimm]

Hi OP - no I have not tried a sling but I'd love to master feeding in a sling! Boots do inflatable BF cushions - could be a good option for you?

[Chocaholica]

I managed feeding DD1 easily anywhere, but for some reason (CS scar taking longer to heal, partly) struggled a bit with DD2 until I bought a portable thrupenny bits pillow after seeing it recommended somewhere on here. You can find one here:

www.thrupennybits.co.uk/

Honestly they are easy to stick in pram basket/tie around handlebars, and really comfy to feed on. The portable one IIRC was less than 30 quid, and it has been used so much and am still using it now out and about (DD2 eight months now).

I think I bought it from a different site actually, will try to recall which if you are interested.

[hopingforanother]

Aha a portable cushion is probably what I need!

Inflatable is good for ease of carrying, but ds may be a little impatient while I blow it up- for a tenner maybe I'll get one in case I forget my thrupenny bits (snort)- I looked at the site and instantly thought- I could make one of those, then thought, no I should BUY one. I so don't have time to make cushions :-( thanks chocaholica!!!

On my hunt for cushions etc I found breastvests, they are vests without a bit over your boobs - to wear with bra and keeps tummy covered- has anyone tried one of these?

I'm still thinking of a sling but don't actually want to carry ds anywhere, just have a way of feeding in a secure position without supporting too much of ds!

[CarGirl]

I had a hugely long baby and I'm very short (all dh's fault) in the end I ditched the cushions and sat her upright on my knee and do you know what it worked fantastically!

[Chocaholica]

I've tried breastvests too! I don't use them now DD is older, as she covers everything really, and tbh you can get the same effect by buying a normal cheapo vest a size or two larger than normal and pulling it down (IYSWIM) but the breastvests did work.

Ha about the cushion making. I have to confess I hesitate in recommending bf things because they tend to be very much a matter of personal preference, but that pillow, I have recommended when people have seen me with it, and others have found it v useful too. It's very portable. Oh and it has another bonus - it is also quite tummy-covering, thus dispensing largely of the need for breastvests, etc....

[Woodlands]

I'm also having problems as my baby gets bigger. I have a long top half so I still use a widgey nursing pillow at home, but that doesn't help when out and about. I can't do the ankle-on-knee thing that I see some women do, I just can't bend like that and when I do DS is nowhere near the boob! I see some bigger babies sitting on their mums' laps and turning their heads to feed, but that doesn't quite work for us either - my nipple is at the wrong angle!

I'm planning to ask people about it at the next local LLL meeting - lots of people there feed older babies and toddlers so may have some advice.

I'm just glad I didn't buy one of those fancy nursing chairs I coveted when pregnant. I can't feed in chairs with arms anymore so it would have been a waste!

[Chocaholica]

Woodlands, the thrupenny bit cushion is v portable. Can see though you wouldn't want to buy another cushion when you've already been bf a while.

My method with DD1, when I had no cushion for out and about, was to lie her on my coat, and lift my leg by hooking it onto the pram to give her height. Think I must have looked v odd sometimes. But I fed her till she self-weaned, so it didn't do us any harm!

[Porcelain]

I'm struggling on this one too, posted a couple of days ago. I did find a ring sling useful, there are vids on YouTube showing how it works. You need the back strength to hold it up still (im still wearing ds at 20 lbs) but its less work than cradling. My problem is ds doesn't always settle to feed in it (or out for that matter).
These are good value www.herbalbaybee.co.uk/page13.htm a pouch sling might work well too.

[hopingforanother]

CarGirl- thanks for the suggestion! I just tried to do the sit on lap thing and ds came to my chin, rather than boob- did you have your daughter on same or opposite knee?

Woodlands I totally agree about feeding chairs- would have been useless now- I got a chair and footstool from ikea and it is perfect- if only I could take it shopping with me :-)

Thanks for the link Porcelain will have a look at these. Chocoholica I've used the foot hooking round pushchair method too! I might get a breastvest, all my clothes are getting totally destroyed...

I think one of the problems for me is that ds is only 3 months and can't support himself much in the sitting up stakes yet but is really heavy which is rather different to an older baby.

[CarGirl]

Hmmmm, I can't remember so long ago! I had/have small boobs though.

I thinks sat on the opposite knee and possible was tilted backward a bit as well as twisting to attach herself. The result is that you knee is taking a fair bit of their weight and I just had to use my arm to support her shoulders/back/head a bit, we were like this from about 6 weeks old so she def wasn't sitting on her own.

[molejazz]

Another one here with a really tall baby! My 7mo DS is on the 91st centile for height and I am 5ft 1.... I found the easiest position when out, although not appropriate everywhere, was cross-legged on the floor with a jumper stuffed in the 'hole' of my legs IYSWIM.

Now I find chairs with arms essential as I can hook his legs over them :)

[TiredofYorks]

Hi no advice on tall babies I'm afraid as mine is a dinky one but I do have a couple of breastvests and I love them. I do use normal vests when they're in the wash but with the breastvest there is much less material to faff around with.

[Chocaholica]

I'm small too, and I prefer cross-legged on the floor as well. Not exactly appropriate on the floor of a coffee shop - too dirty!

It's true that the breastvest does mean less fumbling, IME - I tucked that into my jeans/leggings/whatever, and just pulled the outer layer(s) up. When you make do with a normal vest, somehow I sometimes end up pulling that up too. Clumsy emoticon needed!

Seriously though the thrupenny bits cushion has been invaluable for me, as it ties around your waist, so you can raise the baby to the height you need without hooking legs over pram, or fiddling with piling up coat, changing bag,etc.

[hopingforanother]

Am going to get one of these cushions- it says for larger babies you need the biggest one, but that sort of defeats the object, so getting the portable one- will report back!

Also going to get a breastvest. Need to find some trousers that don't look totally foul too tho.... Then I will also be able to cross my foot over my knee without flashing knickers, breasts and enormous stomac and sitting with a wobbly stack of all the items I have wit h me, with ds perched on top just about able to feed and my coffee just, of course, out of reach.....

[Chocaholica]

Hmm, the clothes thing, another minefield. I'm apple-shaped and have still got a flabby stomach after 2 sections. Jeans either seem to give me muffin-top or fall down, or even do both. I've taken to wearing tunics and leggings with boots, and because I'm small, the tunics fall long on me so are almost dress-like. You can find lots in White Stuff, some with buttons at the top which make easy breastfeeding access. Otherwise I just lift the tunic up, as I have leggings, vest and T-shirt on under so all is covered.

My pillow still seems OK and DD2 is eight months now and not particularly tiny, in fact chubby.

Mind you, now my main issue is that whereas before I could glug my drink and scoff my cake while she bf, now she seems to lift herself up from the pillow and launch herself at my drink a lot. Is almost making me feel guilty for my coffee shop snacking habit...

[ilythia]

DD1 was very long as well, we managed by lying down whenever we were at home and then using the rugby ball hold the rest of the time. I would sit sideways and put cushions behind me, and she would lie the length of the chair 'behind' me.
Once she got a bit odler I would bend her at the waist and fold her legs round me

A ring sling helped massivle as well, even when sitting for some reason.

re clothing, I had a load of strappy vests from primark and wore them under a normal top, that went down, top went up, warm tummy!

[hopingforanother]

Chocaholica you've done it again! How do I not know about White Stuff- it is tunic heaven in the sale! Great!

Good luck with your snack coveting little one - they do like to get involved don't they....

Thanks everyone for all your good ideas!

[Chocaholica]

I only discovered White Stuff in John Lewis - no WS shops near here.

Actually I think my pillow is nearing the end of its use. It seems to be very saggy now - effect of big heavy baby on it!

[mrsgordonfreeman]

I would second the suggestion of feeding with the baby sitting up on your lap: I started feeding dd like this at around the same stage.