Weaned DS and now I wish I hadn't... Is it too late?

[Phew96]

DS is 9 months and today is the first time I've gone all day without bf him. I'm so sad I could cry right now.

Bit of background... DS, up until last week, was still sleeping and eating like a newborn. He wanted to feed every couple of hours day and night, sometimes as often as every hour at night. He did a couple of weeks at around 4 months where he slept for up to 6 hours at a time but other than that it's been this constant feeding pattern. He's incredibly clingy with me, will not even let DH settle him. I have a DD who will be 2 at the end of this month who also regularly wakes at night and a DH who works shifts. In short, I was exhausted.

I started to give DS a bottle of formula in the morning and one before bed but it made no difference. I night weaned him last week, now I just cuddle him to sleep and he's been fine with it. He mostly seemed to just briefly comfort suck before falling back to sleep at night anyway.

Today, I haven't bf him at all. He's on solids and eats plenty. He's had three bottles of formula and has mostly seemed ok. He's pulled at my top a few times but has otherwise been his usual self. I'm now a wreck though. I wish I'd carried on bf. I never managed it at all with DD so I was very proud of myself and now I'm just so disappointed.

Have I completely ruined bf? I want to try to get him back on the breast tomorrow and phase out the formula. Would this even be possible? Would I still be able to not bf him at night?

[onepieceoflollipop]

When both my dds were around 10 months they started to show less interest in day time feeds. (dd2 in particular loved comfort feeds at night)

from the age of 9/10 months (coinciding with me going back to work) I occasionally had to miss feeds for up to 24 hours. (I am a nurse and do on call etc) I know that I had a right to express etc at work but it wasn't the right choice for me and my family.

Anyway, wanted to reassure you that ime you can miss feeds for a day or two and then resume where you left off. Feeding is well established by this age. I went on to feed dd1 until she was 12 months and dd2 until 18 months. Good luck.

[GrumpyGit]

Oh Phew, totally feel for you - if it helps, I did something similar and although didn't get back into bf totally (which I couldn't as was at work all day) I did manage to carry on bf a bit for a couple more months. I didn't mind it not being exclusive, it was enough to just have some of the closeness - perhaps that would work for you too?

You could express a bit tonight to make sure you keep your supply up a bit, then def feed as much as you can in the morning - see how it goes and make sure you top up with bottles enough that you don't end up bfing at night to make up for lack of milk during the day.
Good luck :)

[Phew96]

Thank you, I'm going to just try feeding him tomorrow. I always thought he'd be having maybe four feeds a day at the most at this age which I could have coped with. He just never seemed to cut down on milk feeds as his solids increased.

I've had to do a bit of hand expression tonight as I felt quite full, got 3oz :) so I can always use that to top up a feed if needed.

[Phew96]

Oops cross posted there Grumpy. Thank you for the advice. It is the closeness that I missed, I just kept thinking of his little face smiling up at me when he feeds and started blubbing

[Phew96]

Just a quick update. I fed DS as much as I could yesterday and through the night and he's been miserable and cranky. Sometimes he was so upset that he wouldn't even latch on when a feed would normally calm him :( He got excited everytime I brought out a bottle though. I've expressed some more milk so I know there is some there so I don't understand why he is so unhappy

I'm now wondering if I would be better to just accept that bf has ended. I really don't know what to do for the best. Has anyone got any advice please?

[Indith]

I don't think it is worth upsetting him, I think that will just make things frustrating and upsetting for both of you. Why don't you try just feeding at bedtime or first thing in the morning? If that works then perhaps he may ask to feed at other times too but if not then don't worry. FWIW my ds started at nursery around 9 months and wouldn't take expressed milk so we went down to a couple of feeds a day. Perhaps over the next couple of days you could try to create a nice snuggle time at bedtime (it may mean putting your 2 year old to bed first). Take him to your bed with a book and take your top off so he can get the milk if he wants it but don't push it. Just an idea :)

[GrumpyGit]

How did today go Phew?

[Phew96]

Thank you for the responses, sorry I didn't manage to reply yesterday.

It was pretty much the same Grumpy I didn't bf him overnight and he seemed slightly more settled (waking every two hours instead of every hour ) I'm going to bf him again today and see how it goes

I just feel heartbroken that this might be the end :(