Facebook ban - advise needed

[Essex17]

Hi everyone. First time poster! Just found out I'm pregnant. Not told my boyfriend yet. Telling him is not the problem, but I know after the initial shock (wasn't planned) he will he fine. However I know he will want to tell his parents almost immediately. Not my preference but I can live with it. My only problem is that both his parents are facebook addicts. They post every aspect of their lives. Even hospital check ins, what they've eaten at restaurants (while still sitting at the tablet). I know they will be super excited and it won't be out of spite if they did post something, but how do I kindly tell them not to post ANYTHING online? I don't want to 'announce' at all. Will tell friends and family at 12 weeks but even then I don't want to announce it. How do I tell them this?

[user1493413286]

Congratulations! Can you not just say you don’t want anything on there and want to keep it private? You might want to think about what to say to them when the baby is born about photos going online but that’s for nearer the time.

[Mumtoanimals]

I would just tell them straight. Its your news, and nothing goes online without you posting first. When i told everyone i saw pregnant, it was followed by "nothing on social media please". So far (4 weeks after starting to tell), nothing online. Just let them know, you want it a secret and would be crushed if the let it out. They should understand.

[Ravecat]

We told my partners parents at christmas, when I was 8 or 9 weeks. We told them we were waiting until after the 12 weeks to announce it to be safe.

You could say something like you waiting to have a scan, or get some results back from the doctors before saying anything?

Hope all goes well!

[ScottishStardust]

Hi @Essex17 - Similar situation here, I don't plan on posting anything on social media and also plan to keep photos when baby is here to a minimum! My 'step' family (albeit very close) are terrible at posting everything online - I plan on advising that we are keeping everything off social media or to a bare minimum (posted by us only!)

It's a sad world that you have to dictate these sort of things these days!! For me, one of my reasons if I've lost a baby in the past and it sunk my heart every time I seen people announcing. I'm happy for them of course, but you never know what's going on behind closed doors.

Long story short... lay the ground rules, this is your baby, this is your news to share as and when and how you wish!

[RWK29]

@Essex17 I had the same issue with DHs family 🙄 we just sat them down and explained that we had some news that we wanted to keep strictly between us and very close family then told them. I just explained that I know they like posting on social media but I’d be very very upset if our news was shared by anyone other than ourselves. Just over 30 weeks and nothing on social media so far 🤞🏼 They still ask every time they see me when they’re allowed to announce it 🙄 I just say it’s not their news to announce and that we’ll announce it to who we want when the little one is here and safe 🤞🏼 I know I’ll have to lay the law down when it comes to birth announcements and pictures as MIL has just bought a newer phone with a better camera as she’ll “need it to be able to send out pictures of the baby” 🙄 not sure who’s baby she’s planning on sending pictures of but it won’t be mine 😂😂🙈

[Mangotango123]

Exactly the same here. My husband’s family are such gossips. We are telling our families at Xmas time (I want to tell mine as I know they’ll respect my privacy, but obviously I can’t tell my husband he can’t tell his lol!).

We have suffered two MCs in the past few years and, touch wood, at 9 wks all scans are showing positive things. Our losses have been behind closed doors and neither set of parents or family know, it was something my husband and I chose to deal with on a private basis (one reason being his gossipy family).

We plan on telling them xmas but I do want to ask both sides to keep the news as private as we don’t want a big fuss and will make announcements as and when after the safe arrival of baby. It’s hard to know how to do that thought without disclosing any issues we’ve had. They’ll probably just think I’m being stuck up, as I also stipulated no social media at our wedding; and I got questioned as to why I implemented that rule.

Like the writer of one of the previous posts submitted above, I too am very mindful of wanting to share any information or images as when fertility is an issue, it’s quite upsetting and damaging to see all these images online of babies being announced or women who are expecting. And I agree with another writer who says what a world we now live in where we can’t be afforded the privacy we want.

All very tricky.

[LoreBee]

Completely in the same boat, telling our parents on Xmas day and have written a card to say that we’re not planning on announcing the news on any social media for the duration of the pregnancy and asked them to respect that. I know my family will but I’m worried his mum won’t. Shouldn’t feel anxious about it but I’m not a fan of social media! My daughters birth was announced on Facebook by a ‘friend’ whilst I was being rushed to theatre and I didn’t find out until hours later, zero respect for privacy!!

[Impact007]

I got mine ruined, our plan was to go to the hospital and get the 1st baby scan, then put it in a frame and give our parents it as a surprise gift.

But someone who worked with my mam saw us and spilled where we were etc.

[Mangotango123]

Stop! That's awful.

[OpheliasCrayon]

Lay down the law and make it very clear at the time of posting that you expect them to respect your wishes.
We didn't want and still do not want any pictures of our children online anywhere and 5.5 years in we have managed to ensure that no one has done so.
If anyone has taken a picture of our kids I've made it very clear it's not to go on facebook.
It sometimes feels a little awkward or picky but your kids your rules. You need to lay it out how upset you will be if it happens. Hopefully they will respect you.