Sorry if this gets too long, I'm worried about a family I know quite well.
Ds's friend aged 12 has lost his mum - she died on Friday and it was so traumatic as he was there when it happened. He was so upset as you can imagine. A bereavment helper (not sure what her job title is) from the hospital was with him for 4 hours during and after the death and the dad was there of course.
I don't think the dad is coping, he isn't totally 'there' which I'm sure is normal but yesterday evening he still hadn't done anything about funeral details, his wife is still in the hospital morgue. Instead he spent the afternoon cleaning out a store room she used for her business and stacking the leftover boxes and appliances in the garage.
I'm not sure how to help or maybe get him some help? No idea what the norm would be in this situation.I could ask the bereavement woman to go and see them but his place is in such a mess that I could get him into trouble. He needs to clean up first but he needs help (more than I can give I think).
I've been trying to help, ds went there at the weekend and he and his friend played table tennis and nintendo together, even managed to have a laugh, I've cooked for them and had the friend round yesterday to give the dad a break after he'd exhausted himself half emptying the business out (with my and 3 dc's help)and half in the hope he would use the time alone to get in touch with the funeral people.
Then the ds said he'd like to go back to school on Wednesday and the dad said no I'm not getting up at 7am just to take you to school (it's the last day, we break up for summer that day) - I didn't say anything because I did not think he will be expected to go to school so soon after losing his mum but he says he wants to see his friends before they break up.
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21 replies
admylin · 22/06/2010 09:14
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