I had a very dear friend. She was a little bit bonkers and was sometimes hard to love. She died 18 months ago after a horrendous 3 year battle with cancer. Her husband is DHs best friend.
Soon after she was diagnosed, things became strained between us and, I am ashamed to say I wasn't really there for her. The last time we spoke, we were on friendly terms but I can never really forgive myself.
Fast forward to now, her DH has remarried (9 months after she died) he and their 2 boys are very happy and I am glad they have found someone who loves them as much as my friend did.
DH has just told me they are moving and the house has been sold. I feel devastated and I'm not sure why? It feels like I am losing the last little piece of her. We live just accross the road and we bought our houses arround the same time. I have found it comforting to look out of the window and imagine her coming out of the front door, late as always!
I know there is nothing anyone can say, I know they have to move on and I know it will be good for all of them. Just needed to write it down.
bradsmissus, I think you need to find a way of dealing with the guilt you feel. You need to work through your feelings and you need to grieve. You need to resolve your feelings at the loss of your friend in order to move forward yourself. Take care