Just looking for some advice really..
We had a premature baby a few years ago who did not make it, and lost touch with friends. Some did not keep in touch with us, other friendships had to be let go as they had children of a similar age and it was too hard to be around them.
I rebuilt my life, rebuilt my social network. Life got good again - and then we were lucky enough to have another baby recently who is with us and OK
Hubby contacted all our friends including those we'd lost touch with. One set want us to go visit and have given us some dates. I am really upset by how this couple behaved; the girl gave me a hard time for not visiting her children and when I explained the depth of my sadness and why, she did not reply for several months, and rather than saying this was because she felt awkward and did not know what to say (which is what I suspect), blamed it on me for not visiting.
DH thinks if we don't go then we lose the chance of making it up with them. I don't feel ready as baby is still only weeks old, has not been to visit anyone yet, I'm still struggling with BF on demand, and as there is no routine yet, we may get there and he might need feeding and I just don't feel comfortable doing that in someone's house who I am not close to. We could invite them over but they have several kids and it might be a bit much in our tiny flat; we have hardly had any visitors yet as I have just been trying to rest up as much as poss, our first visitors this weekend ended up needing a lot of waiting on.. so I am in no hurry to have people come see the child, it's not like he will remember it at this age!
Any advice? People were so cruel to us after we lost her.. but I found my new circle - and really I would just like to stick with those people. But we do have mutual friends in common so might bump into them at things.. which is hubbys reason for smoothing it over.
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Rebuilding friendships after babyloss..
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hairband · 25/08/2009 09:54
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