Uncle who I don't have much contact with is dying - want to send a message but don't know what to say

[melpomene]

I've just found out from my parents that my uncle doesn't have long to live (he has cancer) . He lives on the other side of the world and I have very little direct contact with him and my aunt. They've always been good to me when I visited when I was younger, they came over for my wedding etc, but I feel I don't really know him IYSWIM.

I want to send an email but haven't a clue what to say, beyond 'Sorry to hear the news'. Normally I'd email at Christmas to say a few things about the dds, but I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to natter away about nativity plays etc. Can't say 'Happy Christmas' - he may not live to see it.

He is only in his 60s and their youngest son died when he was 19 but their other son and daughter and 4 grandchildren live near them.

So, what should I say in an email? Help!

[nofunanymore]

This is a difficult one - in a way, you're in a privileged position to give a message to a relative before they pass away, but as you ask: what to say? How about some comforting words about how family and friends will rally around to make sure his wife / immediate family will be ok (probably his biggest concern), and perhaps some reminiscences of some happy times that you shared?

[whomovedmychocolate]

Personally I'd write and say 'I was really sorry to hear about your illness and I hope you are surrounded by those who love you during the coming months.'

My friend recently lost his wife and he asked about my kids and said hearing about their antics was the only thing that had made him laugh in several months, so you never know, but I'd wait till he asks for your news.

Nice of you to do this btw, lots of people avoid those who are dying for fear of offending them and they end up alienating them instead.