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DH's friend's Dad died suddenly this morning, what are all the practical things they need to organise in the next few days/weeks?

(17 Posts)
Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 20:19:31

DH's friend is obviously a mess, as is his mum. Neither of them have any idea what to do or where to start with regards to the funeral, financial stuff and all the other issues that occur with a sudden death.

I know quite a few people on here have very sadly been through the same recently and wondered if you could pass on all the advice you may have so I can help them out a bit?


Lilyloo Sun 31-Aug-08 20:20:47

They should contact a funeral director then tbh most of the immediate stuff is taken care of by them.

Tommy Sun 31-Aug-08 20:21:04

funeral directors are really good at explaining all this sort of stuff - they will be able to help them a lot.

Sorry to hear your sad news - I can't offer much practical advice I'm afraid

Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 20:27:15

DH has given him the details of a very good funeral director as that was my initial thought.

I just remember YG and MB talking about funeral grants and widows benefits and the like. I wasn't sure if those sort of issues are covered by the funeral directors.

Evenstar Sun 31-Aug-08 21:16:53

Your friend would need to contact the local Jobcentre for information and forms for the benefits, It is also online and you also get given information on benefits when you register the death. Hope that helps. The funeral directors will advise about the formalities like registering the death, sorry for your friend's loss.

Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 21:52:35

Thank you Evenstar. I'll tell him about the Job Centre.

The dcs are in their 30's and his wife is 60 so that might alter their entitlements, I suppose.

Is there anything else the FD might not tell them that is helpful at this point?

tallulah Sun 31-Aug-08 22:04:48

We were surprised to find you now have to make an appointment to register the death. Get at least 3 death certificates at the time because everyone needs an original.

If the widow drives and was on her DH's insurance she won't be covered (something we didn't realize for months).

There can be problems accessing joint bank accounts too- may be as well to ensure there is another source of money?

and tell HMRC too.

EssieW Sun 31-Aug-08 22:05:24

if it is a sudden death, then there may be a inquest - depends n cause and circumstance of death I think but I'm not sure. If they've got a death certificate then a funeral director can take over the practicalities of funeral arrangements and guide them through this

Is there a will? They'll need to find it if so. Finding things like details of bank accounts, house deeds if relevant, pensions etc.

Sorry to hear the news though - it is awful when it is sudden

Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 22:34:00

Thank you, starting to look for documents is a good idea.

There's going to be a PM because it was sudden so I'm guessing there will be some delay before the funeral.

I'll tell him about the bank accounts - afaik the son doesn't think his dad left a will and he had his own business which will presumably complicate matters further.

Tallulah, that's very useful about the car insurance, I would never have thought of that.

Yorkiegirl Sun 31-Aug-08 22:39:30

Message withdrawn

Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 22:54:14

Not having a will makes things much more complicated, doesn't it? Sorry, I have no idea at all, but dh said his friend was understandably stressed by it all and doesn't want his mum to have to do any of it. TBH, she probably couldn't anyway - her dh did everything re. house/car/business/finances.

Horrible, horrible situation sad.

josben Sun 31-Aug-08 22:56:10

My Dad died suddenly on boxing day last year - it was a horrendous time and so we appointed a solicitor in january to organise repaying some credit card debt with some shares my dad had - we expected the solicitor to sell them straight away and to pay off the cc debt etc - after much chasing up and badgering we got a letter last week to say that the solicitor had only just got the probate and they were about to sell the shares

Not that any of this really matters now - but the shares have dropped by50% which has caused my poor mum even more worry and heartache...


Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 22:58:14

Oh Josben, there's just so much worry and stress with all of it. Your poor mum. Is it normal for probate to take that long?

onlyjoking9329 Sun 31-Aug-08 22:58:28

when they register the death they will get a book "what to do when someone dies" it lists all the things you need to do in there, they need to make an appt at job centre plus and take wedding certificate death certificate with them, they will be able to claim the 2k berevement benefit and she may be able to claim berevement allowance.
get plenty of copies of the death certificate.
the funeral directors will be able to help with all the other arrangements like getting someone to do the service.

Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 23:01:08

Thank you, I'll definitely pass all that on, OJ.

josben Sun 31-Aug-08 23:05:00

I guess what i'm trying to say is that after something sooo awful happening - we kind of wanted to hand over some of the 'awkward' stuff but knowing what i know, i would be much more on the ball and chase up legal stuff... I had honestly had no idea solicitors cfould be so inept

Its now 8 months on and we are all still trying to come to terms with what has happened - we still feel like there is a massive hole in our lives and i guess that only time may heal that...

My thoughts and prayers go out to your friend.

josben Sun 31-Aug-08 23:08:11

Oliban, i don't think that it can be normal for a probate to take so long - i just think that my dads file got put to the bottom of the pile and it was only us chasing it that got things moving....?

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