My gran died last night and am at a loss what to do today

[singyswife]

I have 2 dd's aged 6 and 4 who I want to enjoy the rest of the school holidays with but I also want to be with my mum and my grandad. I am at a loss and dont know what to do. Any advice. My eldest is asking lots of questions which makes me think I should be with her but I really do feel bad about not being with my mum and grandad. Help.

[singyswife]

anyone???

[DrNortherner]

Sorry for your loss.

Are your mum and grandad far away? Do you have to leave the girls?

My gut instict is you mum and grandad need you.

[singyswife]

AThey are not far away but they are meeting with the undertaker today so I dont want to take the girls, mil is working so I cant leave them with her and my dh is working too. I am at a loss

[ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight]

Very sorry for your loss.

Not sure what to advise really. Were your DDs close to your Gran?

Can a friend take your DDs for a couple of hours so you can be with your Mum and Grandad?

[08aGreatYearForCarmenere]

I would definitely bring my children to see your mum and grandad. Death is part of being in a family and children can be very cathartic to have around for the bereaved.
So sorry for you.

[singyswife]

DD's were very close to my gran, they seen her as often as me which was a minimum of once a week. I dont want to ask my friend as I am hoping she will have the girls for me on the day of the funeral and I dont want to take advantage. The girls are watching a video just now and have just asked if they can paint, they are not being demanding and needing entertained which is good.

[singyswife]

I was thinking about taking the girls through a bit later on. Dotn know how they will go being in the house and granny not being there though. Only one way to find out I suppose.

[rantinghousewife]

Sorry for your loss, I lost my (very dear) Nan on Boxing Day 2 years ago.
I'm sure that your mum and grandad understand that you've got dcs to look after, have you tried phoning one (or both) of them to see how they are.

[singyswife]

Have spoken to them today already and will phone in a while again. It's one of those situations where I would feel guilty either way, guilty for not being with the girls and guilty for not being with my mum.

[rantinghousewife]

Tbh I would do both, take the dd's with you.

[singyswife]

Hi went for a walk in t he snow to clear my head a bit and to get the kids out and am now considering visiting grandad with kids, good idea????????

[queenrollo]

i would agree with the others who say take the children with you......my mum said it really helped her to have ds around after my gran died. and if it isn't a long journey then if it really is too uncomfortable a situation to be in you can just go home again. even half hour with them will be more than welcome i'm sure........

[singyswife]

HI there I took them through today and I instantly saw my grandad brighten, he did tire with the stress of having them there though so we didnt stay long but at least he has seen the kids now. Thanks for the advice.

[Clayhead]

My dc are 6 and 4 and my grandad died a fortnight ago so I know where you're coming from. My grandma is already dead though so a slightly different situation. I was not able to be with my mum on the last day my grandad was in hospital though as couldn't take the kids and I felt totally numb that afternoon and very alone.

I did take ds (4) with me to my mum's when we met the undertaker and ds just pottered around as we disucussed arrangements.

Both dc also attended the funeral too.

Hope you feel better for visiting.

[singyswife]

I have told my dc that they are not allowed to go to the funeral as they are too young. I feel taht they wouldnt sit and it would be disturbing for everyone else/.