Just that really. My darling, beloved 80 year old mum made the brave decision to end her life two weeks ago (there is another thread regarding this). I found her and the note she wrote. She had her reasons and she was in poor health and terrified of going into a care home.
But - I feel OK. I mean yes, there were times of sobbing the first couple of days, and waves of panic, but only sporadic since. I don't get it. My brother and sister are in bits. I went back to work last week, and have just been away with friends for the weekend. What's wrong with me - am I feel is guilt for not being a blubbering mess. I adored her and she was soooo wonderful and loving. I remember feeling like this when I lost my dad ten years ago. It was almost surreal, and sometimes I don't think I've actually accepted it. Is that wrong?
But what's wrong with me?
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How come I feel....Ok?
8 replies
Dollygirl2008 · 13/10/2019 21:34
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