I found out through someone else that my Aunt was in the icu late on Thursday night.
The following day I found out through a family member that she was in a bad way. She had a rupture of the bowel and had to go through Two operations and a series of testing . the results revealed she had cancer and it had spread throughout her body into her brain.
On sunday the hospital decided that they were withdrawing her treatment that evening and letting nature take its course. We went up there late evening and planned to go back first thing yesterday morning. But she passed away before we could.
Im finding it hard not just because of the grief but guilt. As i couldn't have contact with her in the last few years due to her son.
He was and is a very violent, voltile person , a bully and as far as im aware still on hard drugs. He is very unstable.
He has caused gbh previously to my grandad , attacked my Aunts partner and Abused/Bullied various family members for money including my mum and grandad ( which is what prompted the gbh attack) .he also attempted to attack my nan but was stopped by another family member thankgod. There was also an incident of sexual abuse when i was a teen involving him (never reported).
We did have an injunction on him but that has since expired. We moved but he found out where we were living .He was released from prison earlier in the year and has been straight back round knocking on the door.
Grandad now showing signs of dementia and mum has mental health issues so its worrying as they are vunerable. Grandad does worry and feel threatned.
My aunt also had mental health issues and her son took advantage of that. He lived with her bullied for money and isolated her from friends so he could continue with his actions unquestioned.She couldnt see the situation for what it was which is why in the end we had to not have contact.
Before those events i was very close to my Aunt she treated me like a daughter. in primary school i used to spend each weekend with her.
She was always bringing me things or other family members that shed seen and thought we would like. And we did used to have a laugh.
Her mental health has detriorated rapidly in the last few years and she was under immense stress from him .
It now feels its all hanging in the air. I feel on edge that hes going to come round again guns blazing because of his mums loss. I dont know what were supposed to do regarding the funeral arragements or attending.
The police have been no support in regards to him coming round as until he does something (Regardless of previous injunction) there isnt anything they can do. As he is just knocking at the door. Though he has shouted through the door on occasions and looked through the living room windows to see if someones home.
Police just say to phone if he comes round again. Then either phone or come round hours or days later. To say phone us again. So feel we have no real security.
Just feel so sad about my Aunt guilt on letting him affect the relationship and regret the time lost with her. And knowing we wont have a say in any of her arrangements because of everything. Dont know if he will let us go.
I can see him playing the trump card just to get us back. Which sounds terrible but is a very likely scenario.
Yesterday was my scheduled day off . work have let me have today off but cant afford me to be off tommorow.
Just feel at a loss.
Xx
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Bereavement
Aunt Died suddenly in icu
Hopefullywaiting · 05/12/2017 12:30
hopefully, I'm sorry you've had no responses and I'm very sorry for your loss. What an horrific time you've had topped off by your aunts death. I'm not sure what to say other than seek support and maybe legal advice. If your aunt saw you as a daughter she may have left you something and it sounds like your cousin may try and circumvent her will.
Take care of yourself 
.
Thankyou Elephants i will do that . i need to write it all out as its all such a mess at the moment . just so nervous at the thought of going in case he says the same that theres not a lot he can do. and then i have to face work again.
And scared not to go then of course i have to face work again.
Nervous of him signing me off and works reaction although i think thats the lesser of the evils.
Thankyou again for talking to me your so kind xxx
Hi
He has signed me off for two weeks. I explained all i have here with how sudden its been ,her meds and him being abusive but very brief points as i know docs dont have alot of time. Hes also prescribed anti depressant s.
Work are very very unhappy and disappointed with me.
I dont know whether to feel relief as feel terrible now. Cant put much more in case they see this small chance that it is.
Thankyou again ElephantsandTigers
Xx
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