Hi, sorry to bother you all and i'm sorry if this is on the wrong forum. I'm really lost and i have nobody else to talk to.
My partner passed away 3 months ago unexpectedly. Naturally it was a huge shock, he was always fit and healthy, always looked after himself and one night we were talking he was alive and then he wasn't. I still can't get my head around it all and i'm finding it so hard to believe it isn't some sort of big joke, that he'll come back from work and be all "surprise". I know that wont happen, but i can't stop my head from thinking it. He was the love of my life and i miss him more now that i ever did.
Anyway, since he passed obviously the household income has fallen and i don't work at the moment. What help am i able to get? I hate saying this because i always feel like i'm blaming him,but i'm really not, there was no life insurance and we only had £1500 roughly of savings which went towards funeral costs.
I have a 9 year old son who has decided he is now the man of the house (i've told him so many times that he is my responsibly, not the other way round) and has returned or sold all his Christmas presents, unknown to me, so we would have money for heat, light and food. He's asked for us to not celebrate Christmas this year, i don't even know if i should be respecting his wishes or should i do something just to make a bit of an effort? I've not even put the tree up let alone bought any Christmas food.
Currently we have £60 a week to live off which is child benefit and child tax credits, luckily a friend helped me get housing benefit and council tax credits. It's the only thing i've managed to sort out, and even then i couldn't sort it on my own. I've not eaten properly in weeks just so my son has food, but i think he knows this as he will always leave leftovers for me. You have no idea of the guilt i have eating those left overs.
What do i do now? I have a depressed 9 year old who wont even let me comfort him, i'm on auto pilot only just keeping it together, i've no money, hardly any food week to week. I send him to my mums every weekend just so he can have some time away from me and so he's warm and can eat. I've honestly thought about letting him stay there permanently, and at one point i thought he'd be better off without me. Luckily i'm not at that point anymore but i still feel equally low inside.
I'm not too sure what i'm looking for right now if i'm honest. Advice, comfort, someone who's been through this? I don't know. All i know is that me and my son should be mourning our loss, but we can't, not right now.
Thank you for listening x
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Bereavement
I've lost my partner, everything, what do i do now?
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user1481682203 · 14/12/2016 02:29
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