My Mam died very unexpectedly just over a year ago, I've had bouts of grieving on and off throughout the year, the last hard bout was around Easter time. I was fine on the anniversary of her death (towards the end of August), which was a surprise as I thought I'd struggle a bit.
Yesterday I felt a bit 'inside out' and last night I remember waking up having dreamt about her. I very rarely remember my dreams, but I can remember I heard her voice and I remember my Dad was in the dream and it was something about throwing out her things. She was wearing a top and some white trousers she liked and she was standing up by herself. She'd not been able to stand for a few years due to having had a brain haemorrhage leaving her with paralysis.
When I woke I had that heartbroken feeling I had when I saw the hearst coming down the street where I walked away from my Husband and Dad so that I could see it 'by myself.' The heartbroken feeling hasn't gone all day. I'm sat here sobbing and I really just want to hear her talk. I want to touch her and smell her and I know I can't.
Sorry for the rambling.
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Reams setting my grieving off again
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velmadinkly · 10/09/2016 19:00
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