My sister died 10 days ago from severe aplastic anaemia. It's all been very sudden, she only found out she had the condition around 11-12 weeks ago when she couldn't stop bleeding from her menstrual cycle.
She was in hospital going through blood transfusions, tests, constant scans to check for internal bleeding, septicaemia, ulcers in her mouth and all sorts. She got pneumonia then had a bone marrow transplant on the 23rd March. It didn't work in time and she died in the early hours of March 31st after a being put in an induced coma the previous afternoon.
I'm not sure it's registered with me. I mean, I know she's died and the day after I felt really shocked and numb but I haven't barely cried or felt too sad. The last time I spoke to her she was chirpy and normal, that was the 22nd March. I didn't see her in hospital due to the distance and difficulty bringing my toddler. She couldn't have children near her except her own and that was only occasional as she was in isolation, she had hardly any immune system and illnesses could kill her.
We spoke on the phone almost daily but hardly about her condition, mostly normal things like our favourite potato fillings and such. We were very close as sisters, just 16 months apart. She was just 9 days from her 35th birthday which was yesterday.
I feel like I should be more upset but for some reason I just feel acceptance. I feel sorry for her kids though as she's left behind 4 children aged between 4 and 17 years old. The funeral is on Thursday and I'm dreading going and facing things.
Anyway the point is since her death I haven't been sleeping properly. The first couple of nights I slept downstairs on the sofa with my dad who lives with me. Since then I've slept with the light on in my room. I've been waking at all hours and never later than 6am.
I feel spooked. I get scared going to the toilet on my own or walking upstairs if it's dark. If there's noises at night such as my dd coughing or moving in her sleep I get the creeps. I don't know why logically as I don't think she's going to haunt me or anything it's more like I'm thinking about death more and it's scared me.
Has anyone else gone through this? Will I start to feel upset when I realise I will miss her? Will I stop feeling spooked? Is this normal grief? Thanks
Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.
Bereavement
feeling spooked after sister's death
Jw35 · 10/04/2016 23:58
Sorry for your loss 
.
My DD died suddenly 6mths ago. It was in tragic and upsetting circumstances. I actually had a dream about her the night she died it really spooked me out. When the police knocked on the door the next morning i knew straight away she was gone. I felt like that for week's after I also slept with light on, scared of the dark. It did get better.
I now know I didn't let myself grieve, I felt numb and I was also 7mths pregnant at the time. I didn't really want to talk about it and basically tried to carry on as NORMAL.
Your probably in shock just now and in the coming weeks you will start to feel all different emotions. Grief affects everyone differently what your feeling is totally natural.
Do you have family around to help?
Im very sorry to hear about your sister. I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I get that 'spooked' feeling if I'm feeling sad. Although I say that I feel jittery rather than spooked. I hope you have lots of RL support. Look after yourself and don't be shy to ask for professional help from you Dr or from bereavement charities if you feel you need it. I don't think there is anything wrong with carrying on doing normal things as long as you make sure you stop if you need to. You need to do whatever works for you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister.
There is no timetable for grief and how it affects you, there is no 'normal'. You may well feel different (better, or worse) after the funeral, but give yourself space when you need it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister OP. My brother died in similar circumstances (aged 28) a couple of years ago. He had some sort of mysterious blood condition, possibly Lymphoma (it was never really clear). He was about to have a stem cell transplant and then suddenly it was called off due to multiple organ failure, he was put in an induced coma (thank God) and died two days later. What we've both experienced is an absolute horror, as it is for so many on this board, so it's not surprising that you feel skittish. I know that I did for a long time. What I've learnt is that grief is always a very personal experience, and not very linear. I've gone back and forward between sadness and acceptance, and probably will do so for the rest of my life (to degrees). There's no clear path through grief, you just have to let it do what it wants to do. The tears will come when you're ready.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.