I think the grieving has kicked in and I need to continue to function.

[Sofiatheworst]

My mum died last July at the age of 56. I took over residency of my niece (I'm single and otherwise childless) in the process as she had lived with mum, we have sorted out a very complicated probate and moved house since then.
We have been in the new house for 6 weeks and I have been deteriorating badly over the past week. I miss her so much. We spoke three times a day and I guess we were very emotionally dependent on each other. I am finding it so hard all of a sudden. Not sure why I'm writing to be honest, it's good to get it down.

[originalmavis]

The first year is the worse. All those anniversaries, Christmas, Easter, birthdays... Of course you miss her and when you are busy you are too distracted to think too much. It does get better.

She was young, wasn't she? Sorry she sent too soon.

[cocochanel21]

Sorry for your loss. My Dd1 died 5mths ago I was pregnant with Dd2. At the time I blocked out any feelings and emotions and concentrated on my newborn which I'm now realise was the wrong thing to do.

You sound as if you have a lot going on in your Life and haven't had time to deal with your own grief. Have you thought about counselling? I started seeing a counsellor recently and I'm finding it really helpful.
Take Care.

[Penfold007]

Sofia you are doing an amazing job. You are coping with the tragic loss of your own mum as well as supporting your niece with the loss of her grandmother oh and you've both moved house.

I bet you put you and your loss right to the back and now it's all caught up with you.

It might be worth speak to your GP but also speak on here.

[Sofiatheworst]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I definitely went into auto pilot. Staying strong and continuing to care for my niece has kept me going for so long and now I feel I am collapsing. I haven't posted much on Mumsnet but I have lurked for years. It's good to have somewhere to talk.

[Fauchelevent]

My thoughts are with you. I completely get what you mean about auto pilot and feel like I'm in the early autopilot stages. Our Mums are also almost identical ages.

PM me if you like, for anything, memories, chats, tears... The most important thing I've found is you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable and chat to other people. It's okay to cry like a baby at any time!!

[Sofiatheworst]

Thanks so much for your kind words. After an evening of non stop crying yesterday I woke today feeling better for it. I must allow myself to do it more often.

[originalmavis]

Oh yes, crying helps me too. Dh doesn't understand this logic bit it's like opening the pressure valve. Whatever makes you feel better.