My mother passed away in May..
I am getting along with it as best as can however sometimes I find the wave of grief just takes over.
Yesterday I went shopping for a Christmas present for my stepdad. I had spent some time trying to work out what to get him as I really wanted him to feel we had bothered and thought about the present. In the end I went to a Shop about 15 mins from where I live that sells hunting related items. I had after suggestions on here decided to go with a hat. (he is a hunter)
I am standing in the shop looking at the hats and the sales person asks.. Is it for a present and I just welled up in tears.. Then found myself having to explain.. At this point her eyes goes glassy wet and she says in a wobby tone " that was us last Christmas" So she at least understood. However it really shock me up for the day. I felt very serious and sad really is the only word for it.
I cant really get used to how this happens it just takes me by surprise and overwhelms me.
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Bereavement
The waves of grief in unexpected places.
Enkopkaffetak · 16/12/2015 22:48
OP, I can't listen to a Salvation Army band without crying - it always makes me think of my DGrandad (long story which you don't need to hear).
Suffice to say, yes, there will be situations that bring back the memories.
Don't be embarrassed, you're human. It's not wrong to remember and miss people you love.
This time of year tend to bring it all back. 
I understand, my dad passed away in March, my mum nearly 10 years ago. I see things all the time that I would love to buy them/do with them. We've done a few things with my dh's family recently and are planning on going on holiday with the ils next year. While I'm looking forward to it and love my ils it gets to me because I can't do that with my parents too.
OP, I'm just the same. Mum passed away in February, and I find I'm OK some of the time, then I just see or hear something and I'm in bits on and off for the rest of the day.
The other night I was driving home from work, saw the newly lit Christmas lights in town, and started crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop till I got home. Then I was on edge for the rest of the evening. There's nothing in particular about Christmas lights that reminded me of Mum, it was just an overwhelming, physical feeling of loss all of a sudden. I suppose it's probably because we knew she was dying this time last year.
The waves don't seem to be getting smaller, just a little further apart. I did a lot of grieving when she was dying, in hospital and the nursing home, spent a lot of time supporting Dad, then when she died my brother and I organised the funeral and wake, so I was in 'organiser', sort of getting on with it mode, but I had a mini meltdown & some time off work about 8 weeks later, after my father in law died too.
This is such a hard time of year. We will miss the presence of my Mum and father in law, only 5 of us at Christmas instead of the normal 8 (my dad is in Australia visiting his sisters).
to everyone missing their loved ones
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