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Telling people

(4 Posts)
pinktransit Sun 15-Nov-15 22:22:08

How do you do it? When you meet someone that doesn't know, I find it really hard.
I was out last night, at a pub that Pete and I went to. Chatting to people, inevitably I was asked. 'Hey, how's your man, I haven't seen him in a while'.

I cringed inwardly - there's no easy way to say 'he's dead'. But how else do you say it?

I actually said that sadly he'd been diagnosed in early August with pancreatic cancer, and had been told 6 months but had only had 6 weeks. So factual and truthful.

Then you have to watch their face fall, watch them try to find the right words. Is there any way to make it easier for others? Is there a 'right' way to tell people?

magimedi Sun 15-Nov-15 22:44:08

The only 'right way' is the way that you feel OK with.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.


ConfusedInBath Wed 18-Nov-15 15:24:36

I'm sorry Pink.
I think you did very well to explain what has happened. It is very very hard.
I also think it depends on who's asking, some people make it even worse by being dramatic but if they're tactful and considerate to your feelings this makes things marginall easier.
Could you drop an email to those people that still don't know?

pinktransit Wed 18-Nov-15 20:48:04

Everyone that I know well knows - it's now just the casual acquaintance that I see sometimes that need to be told.
I'm only saying if they ask, but it's so bloody awkward - I end up feeling really bad for them, and just wondered if there was some magic way of saying it that avoided this...

I do think that simple and factual is the way to go, but it's still hard.

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