Can I join you?

[ToBuyOrNot67]

My little boy Leo was premature and born sleeping at only 25 weeks on 31 August last year. It's coming up to the anniversary of what should have been his due date and I'm only just realising that I'm not coping as well as I thought I had been. It's been months since I've sobbed for him but today I've just fallen apart. I miss him and my heart aches for him. I've been stopping myself from crying all this time, when I've felt my eyes welling up I've given myself a good talking to and told myself it's been long enough, move on, face the day ahead. I can't seem to do that today.

Not sure why I'm posting really, I've not ventured into this section before.

[sscott1967]

So sorry for your loss. Grief hits us wherever and whenever but it's also testimony to the love we hold.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You're not just grieving for your lovely little boy but also for the future you had together.
Hugs xx

[KerryMehome]

Thank you sscott (I've changed my user name - I'm the OP!)

I think that what is so hard, all of the future experiences that I had imagined are gone. He would have been 1 next week and we should have been getting ready our lovely family christmas.

[angelopal]

Sorry for your loss. I lost my first suddenly at 4 days old just over 2 years ago.

Important dates are always difficult. I rarely cry for her now but on her birthday I cried my eyes out.

[sscott1967]

Life is not fair sometimes Kerry.I miss my son of 20 but wish I had another 20 years. Sadly we are 2 of so many heartbroken mums xx

[KerryMehome]

Thank you both for your kind words. It's so sad that there are so many of us suffering from the loss of a child. Today is a better day for me but I'm sure I'll still have my moments when there's nothing but tears and hopelessness xx

[LilyTheSavage]

Life is fucking unfair. I miss my 21 year old DS2 terribly. It's just not fair. It doesn't matter whether we have them for 25 weeks or 21 years.... they are still our darling babies and they should be here with us.

Be gentle with yourself.
Sending you love. xx