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I can't believe it...

(8 Posts)
LollipopViolet Thu 16-Oct-14 22:21:22

A few days ago my grandma got a phone call from the coroner's - she requested samples be taken from my granddad's lungs after his post mortem came back with a cause of death of "disseminated thoracic malignancy", as there was talk of him having had mesothelioma.

Anyway, after just over a year, the samples have come back from the specialists they were sent to - it was mesothelioma. Because that's an asbestos related cancer, there now has to be an inquest.

I've got the day of the inquest off work and if my mum is off I will go with my grandma. If mum is working I'll have to stay behind to look after my disabled uncle. Should I mention to my manager why I've booked the day off? I'm in my probationary period at work so feel like I need to justify the request.

I want answers, as to how my granddad was exposed and how he went so long with it undetected, but I have to admit I'm actually a little bit scared.

I don't know what the inquest will be like, I don't know how detailed they'll get, and I'm so scared for my lovely grandma as I suspect she'll be called as a witness - I don't want her to be upset.

We're all doing so well, yes we have down days but we're all pretty good now, I'm a bit scared that'll be shattered briefly.

taxi4ballet Fri 17-Oct-14 20:20:18

I'm sure that your employer will give you the time off to attend an inquest, and I hope that you all find the strength to support each other at such a difficult time.

LollipopViolet Fri 17-Oct-14 20:30:46

My employer has authorised my request, so that's one weight off my mind. I've also found out if I can't attend due to having to care for my uncle that day, I can get a copy of the recording smile

We got the post mortem report today - I now understand more, but at the same time feel a bit... odd. Won't go into details but the cancer was very advanced when it was discovered sad

Penfold007 Fri 17-Oct-14 21:20:26

Good that your employer has approved your leave. I have to ask though why isn't your mum taking the day of the inquest off to support either your gran or your uncle?

LollipopViolet Fri 17-Oct-14 21:43:50

She's going to try Penfold but her work is a pain in the bum, and have told her before now about requesting time off when it's not a medical appointment for herself (she had to use annual leave to help my gran get my uncle ready for one of his hospital appointments - I was working and it's a 2 person job) they are not a compassionate company so there's a chance they'll say no to her request.

However, we'll cross that particular bridge when we get there - just to clear things up, I live with mum, uncle and gran smile

Penfold007 Sat 18-Oct-14 09:05:18

Lollipop I'm sorry your mum's employers are being so unsupportable x

ThatBloodyWoman Sat 18-Oct-14 09:08:57

I think this sort of thing really is at the discretion of the employer.
Sounds like you have good employers, op.

I hope you get answers.

LollipopViolet Thu 30-Oct-14 21:54:40

Just thought I'd update.

My mum has some annual leave hours to take, so if she's not off she's going to take a couple of hours to come home early, so chances are I'll be going with my grandma, and our lovely family friend who's offered her support on the day, and has done at every stage of my granddad's illness, and then after he died. She's a lovely lady and I can never thank her enough for how much she's supported our family this past year.

Only a week now, I'm actually scared, but it's more fear of crying in the middle of the thing, than about the process.

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