My son died by suicide almost 9 months ago.

[LousterTheRooster]

He was 15 years old and none of us had any idea as to how he was feeling. There were no outward signs, nothing at all to make us worry about him, he was just a normal, happy go lucky boy. On the 14th December last year our lives changed forever. Crushed, broken, devastated are words that don't even come close to explaining our loss. There are no words.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Over the last 7 or so months we have thrown ourselves into raising awareness and setting up a charity to fund a helpline for adolescents who suffer depression, anxiety disorders (and manifestations of that including self harm, eating disorders etc) and for the prevention of adolescent suicide. We are not UK based, the charity will be based in the UAE where nothing of this kind currently exists but releasing the stigma of depression and suicide and raising awareness are priorities the world over. Please can I ask that you light a candle tonight at 8pm to show your support for suicide prevention. Many thanks and best wishes.

[tribpot]

I am so very, very sorry. Like many people on MN I have been affected by suicide much more remotely than you and I cannot imagine what you are going through. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[Twitterqueen]

I too am so sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine your pain and suffering. I cannot think of anything worse a parent could go through. I will light a candle and think of you, your lovely son and all others suffering in similar situations.

[HumphreyCobbler]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[sanfairyanne]

will do

thinking of you xx

[CatWitch]

My heart goes out to you and your family. My beloved ds became suicidal at age 15. We were desperately worried, sad, guilt ridden and afraid. We were able to access an excellent mental health provider. My son is almost 18 and doing very well.

I will absolutely light a candle tonight. You are in my thoughts..xx

[LousterTheRooster]

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and best wishes, I really appreciate it.

CatWitch, thank you for sharing your story. It put a smile on my face knowing that your son was strong enough to seek help, it's great to hear that he is doing well. This is our mission, to let everyone know that there is help out there and that it is ok to seek it.

Best wishes everyone xx

[Elysianfields]

My heart goes out to you too.

Similarly to Catwitch my 15 year old DS was suicidal, but he too has survived and at nearly 19 is doing well. We got excellent care though which really helped.

It was a terrible time, we felt powerless, useless, scared, totally overwhelmed, we found out DS was self harming, then it all came out, the suicide attempts.... . At the time we needed immediate help and support and were so lucky we found it.

I will light a windowledge full of candles for this cause. If I can do anything else at all please PM me.

[CatWitch]

Tears are in my eyes reading this...Louster, your strength and grace whilst coping with the loss of your child is amazing. Reaching out to prevent other teen suicide takes courage and compassion beyond belief..

Elysian, I remember those dark days after realising my son was in deep trouble. All our energy and resources had to be directed into making him well. I felt so lucky we were able to find the assistance we needed when we needed it. Now I feel luck should not be a part of helping a teenager past suicidal ideation. Any teen in need should get the care they require in the shortest time possible..

Louster, I have emailed my friend's asking them to illuminate the darkness tonight too..xx

[LousterTheRooster]

Thank you so much to everyone that lit a candle last night and for spreading the message ??

Elysian, I'm sorry that your son was suicidal too but very happy that he is now doing well. Both your and CatWitches sons are a credit to you, I'm sure you are both very proud of them and what they have achieved.

Since Louis died I have received lots of messages from teenagers who just wanted to talk and to vent. I have been shocked to learn how many adolescents (and adults) have self harmed and are depressed, people I know well who live normal and ordinary lives but who hide their depression very well. I love hearing from them and I know that Louis' foundation has helped people. That's why we keep going.

Thank you all so much again xx

[tribpot]

I'm awed by your strength and compassion for others, Louster.

[LilyTheSavage]

Strong and gracious.
I am with you.
My candle was lit too.

[trulymadlydeeply]

Louster, I am in the UAE and I have heard your story locally.

My thoughts are with you. It's a wonderful thing that you are doing, and if I can help, I'd be glad to.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

Much love. Xxx

[LousterTheRooster]

Hi Truly, it's a small world ... !! But I feel a funny sense of warmth knowing that you're nearby! Thank you for posting and for your offer of help, very much appreciated and welcomed. I will send you a PM with my number etc. Thank you so much for posting xx

[Blondeshavemorefun]

So sorry about your son. It's alsmost harder if you have no idea why

I also lit a candle. Sadly my dh committed suicide April 2011 - before then I had never heard of suicide day but in sept 2011 I lit a candle and do every year

I had no idea dh was going to kill his self but he suffered from severe depression and one day just felt he had enough

There is a group called sobs - survivors of bereaved suicide - not sure If just in UK or worldwide.

[sscott1967]

My DS died by suicide Sept 18 and I'm numb. I feel your pain xx

[LilyTheSavage]

Hi Louster

I know it's Louis' first anniversary tomorrow and I just wanted to check in with you. I'm thinking of you and have a bright orange t-shirt ready for wearing tomorrow.

Sending you love and strength.

[LilyTheSavage]

Hi Louster
Just checking in and sending you .

I'm back in France. Wish you were here and we could share and talk about our darling boys.

[LousterTheRooster]

Hey Lily

Thank you and for you too

I wish I was there as well drinking lots of wine with you and catching up. Next year for sure. Hopefully the whole of summer and Christmas and New Year too. I hope your Christmas was peaceful, I've lit 2 candles every night for Louis and Paddy and everyone else. Thinking of you xx

[LilyTheSavage]

[SunshineBossaNova]

I am so sorry OP. to you and those who have lost someone this way.

My oldest friend died by suicide nearly 10 years ago. I still love and miss her.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Hi Louster
Thanks for this thread
My DSis lost her darling boy last year
We all had no idea it could happen
I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful boy
Thinking of you
Thank you for helping others by raising awareness
I will try to do this too and will light a candle every year

[LilyTheSavage]

Dear Louster

I'm thinking of you this morning on your sweet boy's anniversary. Your darling Louis. Always loved. Always missed. Always longed for.

Sending you love. ((( Louster )))

[jenmac22]

Thinking of you today louster, sending you love xx

[P1nkP0ppy]

Candle lit, sending you love and ((hugs))

[3littlebadgers]

for you and your darling boy x