Dear Granddad - a letter for a loved one no longer here(2 Posts)
It's nearly 10 months since you passed away, where has the time gone, so quickly? So much is happening, and I'm so sad you're not here to see it
My friend C, you remember her? Well, she's getting married next month, and I'm off on my very first hen do next week. I know you'd be telling me to be careful, not to get too silly and come home in one piece - we're doing it's a knockout type things. I know you'll be watching over me, having a laugh with C's dad, who's up there too.
I still go to the ice rink, still skate regularly. We did a Christmas show in December, and I swear I could feel your presence during those performances, watching us all as we danced and twirled.
Some bad things happened, I ended up leaving my job, by mutual agreement, it got unbearable while you were ill and worse when you'd died, I hated it so much but felt so guilty that it didn't work out. I felt like I'd let you down
But, I started volunteering at a children's centre, and I've found my calling, it's not film, like I thought at 18 when I went off to the local uni to do a film production course, it's childcare. So I'm re-training, I have my level 1 qualification and I have a place to do level 2 in September.
I also have a new job, it's too soon to say what it is on here, but you know because you're keeping an eye on me I hope it works out better than the last job, I'm a bit scared but I can only do my best.
We are slowly getting the garden nice, the pear tree has fruit on it for the first time ever, and you now have a little memorial, called the Angel Garden - I even got you a plaque, because we've kept your ashes and not scattered them, I wanted you to have a memorial. We're all chipping in, doing the jobs you used to do, and working together like we did when you were here.
I have to go for training for this new job at some point, and it will be weird, you not helping me plan my journey, giving me a lift to the station, reassuring me that yes, I will get the right trains, and getting me to the station nice and early. I remember when I went to Southport for a filming job for three days, I was so nervous about making my train connections, and was trying to put off leaving until as late as possible. We were sat together, you, me and my gran, and you smiled and said, "I think we should go and get you on a train, don't you?" and my fears just melted.
I really miss you, I think about you every single day, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, but I always think of you. With every passing day, it feels like people outside the house have forgotten about you, and that's hard. We haven't forgotten though.
We'll never forget you.
LV (your little favourite)
That's lovely LV!
My grandfathers been gone a year and a half know, it's hard.
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