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Bereavement

It's like he never existed

5 replies

grants1000 · 09/10/2013 18:24

My Dad died 15 years ago today, but it is if he never existed.

Not one close member, even my husband, has said a word. My Dad brought my brother up as his own, even though he was not biologically his; not a word. My Mum, remarried, not a word. My grandparents, his parents, now dead. My Dad's siblings out the picture years ago.

So I am the only one who remembers, just feels sad and forgotten

OP posts:
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telsa · 09/10/2013 20:25

Aw, I am sorry to hear this. I think you have to cherish your own memories and take time to spend moments thinking of what he meant to you.

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LondonLady1 · 12/10/2013 10:45

You remember him so that counts for a lot. Think of the nice memories about him and sod everyone else.

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mrsmalcolmreynolds · 14/10/2013 10:26

I'm really sorry you feel so isolated - it is very hard. However I did want to say that just because others haven't mentioned it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't thinking about it. Have you mentioned the anniversary or your feelings to any of them?

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throckenholt · 17/10/2013 11:00

I remember my mum and my dad, and others that are gone, often - but I rarely talk about it. So no-one else knows that I think about them. Just because no-one said anything doesn't mean they weren't remembering in their own way.

But the bottom line is - you remembered - and that matters to you.

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TwoStepsBeyond · 17/10/2013 11:16

I'm sure they all remember him in their own ways. I tend to think of my DM & DF on their birthdays rather than the day they died, also when something nice happens, someone says something that they would have found funny, when eating something that reminds me of them etc.

The day they died is a sad anniversary (especially my DM, her final day was quite traumatic and upsetting) whereas their birthday is a time to remember them in a positive way.

It doesn't mean I don't love them or think of them because I don't acknowledge them on any particular date.

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