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Fathers day letter to dying Grandfather, is this ok? opinions much appreciated!

(15 Posts)
honeytea Mon 10-Jun-13 11:49:36

My dear Grandpa has terminal cancer, it has come on suddenly and he has been given a maximum of 6 monthes to live. I have so much I want to say to him, we have spoken on the phone but I feel too emotional to say these things out loud. Is this ok as a letter to him? I have no experience of writting to a dying person, I don't want to sound insensitive.

Dear Grandpa.

Happy father's day! I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate the fatherly role that you play in my life. I think it is quite apt that the
lady in the photoshop congratulated you on becoming a father when you collected the photos of me as a newborn baby as in many ways you have been the most fatherly influence in my life.

Thank you so much for all the time and energy you have spent with me, even though your own children had not yet all left home when I was born you allways made time for me. Driving up to Scotland to visit me when I was first born, celebrating birthdays with me and making Christmasses magical, you were there when I learnt to ride a bike (do you remember I ran over jaz poor dog!) looking after me and (db) so mum could have some precious childfree holidays, taking all 3 of us on holidays with you and Grandma, taking us to museums in London, shareing your passion for learning, supporting me through university, coming to explore Stockholm my new home and most recently traveling to meet my new baby boy, your first great grandchild.

It ment a lot to me that you and Grandma said how much you like (dp) and what a good man he was at the end of your most recent visit. He is a good man, a great partner and fantastic father. You and (dp) are very different in many ways, (dp) loves to bake where as you love to brew beer, (dp) enjoys manual/practical work whereas you have spent many years studying and working with people, (dp) likes to spend his spare time playing sport or on the computor whereas you love long walks, you also are very alike, you are both calm and caring, good at listening, supportive, hardworking, kind and loyal. Your consistant love and presence in my life has shown me that men can be reliable, stable and dependable, you have inspired me to find a life partner who is good to me and good to our children, for that I thank you, from both me and (ds)

I hope you like the photos, (ds) is growing so fast at the moment! He has learnt to hold his arms up to us when he wants to be picked up and he is sitting very reliably, only toppling over when he is very tired or very excited. I thought you could put the framed photo on your wall under the photos of your grandchildren as you suggested, a new row for a new generation.

I am so very sorry to hear you have been so ill, I hope you are starting to feel a little better. I wish we lived closer so we could come and visit you more often. If you or Grandma feel you need more help or even just some company me and (ds) can fly over any time. I am very much looking forward to seeing you in July and celebrating your 80th birthday with you.

I love you very dearly
your granddaughter (honeytea) xxx

GibberTheMonkey Mon 10-Jun-13 12:21:49

Well it made me cry

I'm sure it would be very much appreciated.

Crocky Mon 10-Jun-13 12:24:50

Made me cry too. What a lovely letter.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Mon 10-Jun-13 12:59:25

That is lovely!!

When DH's dad was dying my DH wrote him a heartfelt letter, he was so grateful to read it and it was really good for DH too. We buried it with him.


TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong Mon 10-Jun-13 13:03:18


It's lovely. And so are you. <gushes slightly>

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Mon 10-Jun-13 13:53:58

oh bloody hell, shouldn't have read that in the office. An absolutely lovely lovely letter - don't change a thing.

honeytea Mon 10-Jun-13 18:59:53

Thank you so much for the encouragement to send it. I feel in a way that maybe it is better just to send a jolly whats the weather like? How is the cat? sort of letter, I don't want to upset my Grandpa but I want him to know how important he is to me.

50ShadesofXmas Mon 10-Jun-13 22:08:36

No, it is much better that he knows, there's no bigger regret that a missed opportunity to tell someone u l

50ShadesofXmas Mon 10-Jun-13 22:10:27

Doh! To tell someone you love them and not be able to. I know it sounds quite cheesy but if you can find Ronan Keating singing If Tomorrow Never Comes, the words are lovely and so very true.
It is a l

50ShadesofXmas Mon 10-Jun-13 22:11:49

Oh fgs!!
It is a lovely letter and I'm sure your grandad will be as proud to receive it as he is of you.

Sorry my phone has gone a bit mad.

Portofino Mon 10-Jun-13 22:15:54

That is lovely. Really.

MickeyMouseHasGrownUpACow Tue 11-Jun-13 19:05:57

That's lovely. I wrote a letter along similar lines to my darling Grannie just before she died. Now 4 years on, I am so grateful that I had the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. Its a huge comfort even now that there wasn't anything left unsaid.

honeytea Sat 29-Jun-13 17:59:38

Just a little update, I sent the letter and my grandpa wrote back to me and said he cried happy tears when reading it and "the only good thing about dieing is that people tell you how much they love you"

Thank you for the encouragement to send the letter, I am so glad I did!

TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong Sat 29-Jun-13 20:18:03

How lovely Honey!

I'm so glad you sent it, and I'm sure you are. xx

perplexedpirate Sat 29-Jun-13 20:24:41

This is beautiful.
There's something in my eye...

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