Hi, my dad died on the 11th may this year and I'm not sure how I'm coping with it.
I moved to Scotland in February to live with my boyfriend as we were expecting a baby. (400 miles from my parents home)
The weekend I moved my dad was admitted to hospital with chest and kidney pain. I saw him in hospital before I had to leave.
I had my baby after a week of moving house. He came 7 weeks early and was kept in hospital.
While my son was in the special care unit my dad was diagnosed with asbestos cancer and was given 6-12 months to live.
My mum brought my dad up to see us so he could see his first grandson in hospital. The trip I think took its toll on my dad. He was happy to see his grandson although he couldn't hold him. He was also happy to visit Scotland for the first time and to see the sea after many years.
After returning home my dad was re admitted to hospital where his care wasn't very good. My mum managed to get him discharged and took him home to care for him.
We travelled down to see my dad 2 weeks after my son was discharged from hospital. A 10 hour car journey. My dad was overwhelmed and could finally hold his grandson, or at least have him lay on him as he was so weak. We took many photos of them together.
It was heartbreaking. We stayed with my parents for 3 days before having to travel home for my partners work.
My dad died 2 days after we got home. 9 weeks after being originally admitted to hospital.
I'm so heartbroken and feel guilty I didnt get to spend more time with him in those last few weeks. He did get to see his grandson who I'm sure came 7 weeks early for that reason.
My mum said she could see in his eyes he was only holding on for us to visit him and he gave up after we left.
I wish I'd have know. Or deep down I think I did. I wish I'd have spoken to him more in those last 3 days or let him hold my son more. I wish the day we left I'd have said a proper goodbye but I didn't want him to see me cry.
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7 replies
AlisonL1981 · 24/05/2013 10:49
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