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Beloved mother died suddenly a week ago after a massive stroke

(17 Posts)
t875 Sun 15-Apr-12 10:29:21

I don't really know how to say this, we have been through an horrendous time

My mum had a massive stroke in her sleep 2 weeks ago and stayed unconsious and didnt wake up from it, then passed on last week. Sad she had a massive stroke last weekend and she was unconscious all week been back and forth to hospital just to be with her while she slipped away. :,-( my life feels empty and cant handle the fact of not seeing her, talking on the phone, sharing my stories about my daughters, the pain and sadness without her is unbearable and I haven't stopped crying. I also get Times of strength too It's been a huge shock. And still can't quite believe it, I only spoke to her the same day and for her to go to bed and not wake it has been a huge shock. Worried about my dad as well as they were such a devoted couple. I am very spiritual and believe she is around me, but I just want to hug her and talk her like I used too.sad

The house is the same as she was there, everything the same. Its such a killer to walk into the house now and her not there as I imagine her there and i can chat to her or her to me. sad

T x

Tonytiger Sun 15-Apr-12 12:53:37

T875. I am so very sorry to read your sad news. You sound like you where very close to your lovely mum. There are no words that can ease your pain but I just
Wanted to send you love and strength. Your mum will always be with you carry her close in your heart . Big hug. X

chipmonkey Sun 15-Apr-12 22:24:27

t875 I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mum. My Dad died suddenly and although it was a horrible shock for us, I think it was probably not too bad for him, one minute he was on earth and the next in Heaven. Your Mum will have just drifted away with no pain and I'm sure you're absolutely right that she is still with you and looking out for you and your little girls. I have found that if I ask my dd for signs, I get them.

QOD Sun 15-Apr-12 22:31:49


twentyten Sun 15-Apr-12 22:33:45

So sorry x

Rezolution Sun 15-Apr-12 22:34:53

t875 Sorry to hear your sad news. thanks

blowcushion Mon 16-Apr-12 01:17:26

So very, very sorry about your mother, t875 and sending warmest wishes to your whole family, especially your father. xxx

t875 Mon 16-Apr-12 13:43:09

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I could get on and strive forward this morning I know my mum would have been driving me forward, I've got to as back to school etc but then this afternoon I've gone right down again, feeling the loss and the void of not being able to call her or talk to her. Worried about my dad and feeling what he is going through and going through it with him is very hard. So worried abut him. He is so lonely. I'm talking all through the evening with him.

I asked her for a message that she was ok and was with me and there was a feather on the lawn this morning, a nice white fluffy feather. I've had them before from I believe my nan.

This is so very hard and such a shock to us all as we were chatting with her in the day. I really want to know if she is ok on the other side as I'm sure it's shocked her too.

I'm Soo sad that I'm not going to see her again or speak to her.

Thanks again

T xx

chipmonkey Mon 16-Apr-12 13:45:33

t875, I get tiny fluffy white feathers from my daughter all the time! Never found any before she died but lots after. Most definitely a sign!

Mama1980 Mon 16-Apr-12 13:47:31

I'm so very sorry for your loss ((((hugs)))))

So sorry for your loss xx

RabidAnchovy Wed 18-Apr-12 12:44:23

So sorry for your loss x

answers Sat 21-Apr-12 22:49:09

So sorry for the loss of your mum. My mum died suddenly nearly two years ago .... completely unexpected and a shock to us all. She was such a big part of mine and my family's life and like you it was impossible to imagine not being able to tell her everything about what we were doing. It is still very raw for you and although I miss her desperately every single day it does get easier to cope with ... I think one of the hardest things was not being able to tell her how much I loved her before she died but when I think about it rationally I didn't need to do that as I know she knew that I knew how much she loved me. Thinking of you and sending you virtual hugs..... it does get easier....

Jennifertomlin3761 Thu 26-May-16 22:58:27

My mum passed away recently of a stroke , although she was 85 she was very active and loved life , just one Tuesday evening just after emerdale she was unable to speak , from then she was taken to hospital , it was decided she was a suitable patient for thrombolysis to blast the clt in her brain , this carried a risk of 1 in 14 people it could cause a bleed unfortunately mum was one of those 14 , she never regained consciousness and died 6 days later with us her family by her side . Now just over 1 week later I can't come to terms with the fact she had gone, we thought we had years with her . She always said she would go out like a puff of smoke which is what she did , but I miss her so much , from being a totally independent active woman to laying in a hospital bed just breathing . Her funeral is next week don't know if reality will kick in then but at the moment it just feels like she is away visiting friends and she will come back. I talk to her every day , her little dog is with us and he is so sad . I feel guilty that I took her to hospital because she always said she never wanted to go there .

Itsnotallaboutyou Sat 28-May-16 00:57:00

T875 - I am so sorry for your loss.

My SIL died of a stroke just over 3 weeks ago. It has been difficult. We had the funeral this week and it has been the longest three weeks ever.

It may not seem like much consolation at the moment but your mum wouldn't have known what was happening and wouldn't have suffered.

My DH kept saying I just want to get the funeral out of the way. I said to him the day after the funeral 'I know this might seem a stupid question but do you feel better?' His reply was that actually he did. Not 100% but a lot better than the day before. I hope OP that perhaps the funeral will help you at least a little bit. i think the period until the funeral is like being in limbo.

I hope answers post gives you some comfort.

You say I am very spiritual and believe she is around me Try and take comfort in your belief of this. She will always be with you and no one can take your memories

Jennifer so sorry for your loss. Please do not feel guilty as you did what you thought was best at time.

Jules125 Sun 29-May-16 19:28:06

Hi t875,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum, my Mum died a month ago also.

My Dad had a massive stroke and survived it for 15 months [but with terrible quality of life and in pain]. The initial stroke felt like a bereavement because it was so sudden and he was in perfect health before, but went to being completely disabled.

I can relate to all you say about the emptiness, and just not being able to talk any more.

So Sorry you have had to go through this

Babyroobs Sun 29-May-16 21:00:20

Sorry to read what you are going through. My mum died very suddenly a few years ago. She was looking after my dd the day before and everything was fine, the next morning she was dead. It was awful and I completely understand what you are going through. I don't think you can ever completely come to terms with something like this happening, but it does get easier over time. Like you I was very worried for my Dad too as they were very devoted, he has coped remarkably well although he obviously misses her terribly. It is heartbreaking. In recent years we have also gone on to lose my mil and fil very suddenly too. My children have found it hard too.

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