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Just want someone to understand.

(4 Posts)
ryman78 Wed 10-Aug-11 01:33:11

I have recently lost my mum. She was the only parent I had for more than half my life. I feel that no one truly understands my loss. Dh has lost his dad but still has his mum. He seems to think that his mum can replace my mum. My family seems to think I am the strong one but I am not.

GhoulLasher Wed 10-Aug-11 01:45:57

Sorry you're feeling so sad. I lost my Dad...oh ten years ago now but it still hurts...and I know that Mums are extra special....which makes it even harder.

The only thing I can say is that it really does feel like you're n a black hole...but it lifts eventually....it really does. And one day you will be able to remember your Mum with pleasure...you will always get moments when you're off guard and suddenly miss her....but they're fewer than the times hen you have good thoughts.

Your Mum was obviously very special to you and I am sorry you're sad. Please try to talk to your family.

ryman78 Wed 10-Aug-11 01:52:41

Thank you for your reply. I just didn't feel the same when I lost my dad. It was hard up until the funeral. Than it got easier. With mum it just seems to get harder. I guess its partly because I am in a different life stage now. I do not have a full time job to oocupy me. Plus I have other issues in my life which make things harder.

whitecloud Wed 10-Aug-11 18:21:08

ryman78 - being with other people's parents is really hard, in my experience. They are no substitute and just make you feel your loss more acutely. I found it v difficult to be with my husband's family after I lost my Mum and Dad, but with time it gets a little easier. I also had no job and other problems, so really feel for what you are going through. You go right through the grief and then it does get a bit better. The trouble with being busy all the time is that you can push grief away and not process it properly. I was forced to confront mine - the worse thing is when you feel better for a bit and then suddenly feel worse. Quite normal, but tough to deal with. Be kind to yourself.

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