Urgent help needed: been asked to help by a friend

[Tweetinat]

Without going into the backstory now, a very close friend of mine lost her husband on Thursday in a RTA. Her son is 21m and unwell and has had to be rushed to hospital. She has asked me to call the local funeral directors and florists to find out some information for her as she understandably needs to be with her son right now. I have never done anything like this before and have no idea what I should be asking, how I can find a 'decent' company (if that's even a consideration?), what I need to do basically. I've just found this out a couple of minutes ago so am appealing to MN to ask for help. Would anyone be kind enough to give me a few pointers? We are based in N Herts - nr Royston if anyone can make any recommendations.

[solidgoldbrass]

This might be helpful. Hope you get it all sorted.

[wompoopigeon]

Does she or did her DH have any religion, however lapsed? If so the local vicar will be able to recommend a funeral directors he has worked with. Otherwise ask neighbours esp elderly neighbours to recommend a firm, or just ring up the ones on your High Street.
There is also a good book to order from Amazon by Which called what to do when someone dies. Very useful.
With florists there is no big rush- find the funeral directors first and they will guide you through that.
Sorry for the horrid situation.

[AmberLeaf]

Sorry to hear about your friends husband.

Quick google found this company;

www.jeremyrulefunerals.co.uk/index.php?pageid=1

They are a small family run funeral directors

Here is a review from the 'good funeral guide'

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/funeral-directors/jeremy-rule-funeral-service/

Hopefully someone who lives nearby will be along to offer a personal recommendation.

The 2nd link has lots of advice on funerals on it too.

[wompoopigeon]

Some people recommend getting quotes from 2 or 3 firms, as you would for any other major expense, but others just go with a firm that has a good reputation and pay whatever they charge.

[chimchar]

once you have found someone, they will guide you through all that needs to be done, and tell you what is "normal" ettiquette in the circumstances re obituaries, service, hymns etc...

my advice would be to speak to a local company, and see how you like them. when my mum died, the funeral director was so very lovely...it made a hard time just a teeny bit easier.

i'm so sorry for your friend. she must be struggling, especially with a poorly child too. hope he is better very soon. hope you are ok too tweet. x

[Tweetinat]

Thank you all so much for your quick replies - my head is spinning and I just wasn't sure where to start. The links are excellent, thank you.

I'm not sure whether she'll want a religious service or not but I know she wants a cremation. I've called a couple of the local funeral directors and they have also given me some information about the next steps that she needs to do. Unfortunately none of them can really do anything until she goes in to see them herself but at least I can prepare her with what they're likely to ask and what she needs to think about.

She is absolutely devastated - there is much more to this whole story that I won't go into now, but this is just such a shock for us all.

[solidgoldbrass]

You could ring the local crematorium, as well: they might be able to advise you on funeral directors - though on the whole, funeral directors tend to be a trade who give very good service with few exceptions. My father died recently and my mother said the local firm couldn't have been more helpful.

[shelleylou]

im sorry for your friends loss. An road crash is awfully sudden way and i know she will have many questions. You are doing a wonderful thing to help her in such a way. I thin k we went with a company who were recommended by the bereavement office at the hospital when my brother died in similar circumstances. They were lovely and extremely helpful throughout the whole process