About a month ago my brother died and he was the last of my family to go. To be honest, after the first few weeks of his death, I have been ok but tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of my sister's death and today I have just been crying, feeling totally helpless and just all done in.
My dad died nearly 18 years ago and my mother 4 years ago and I just want to have them here. Stupid I know but I feel so bloody alone. I'm not as I have DH (who has been working away for the past 2 weeks but is due back middle of next) and our darling DC. I feel abit like a child having a tantrum - I just want them back!
I suppose it is because of my DB recent death that this particular anniversary is hitting me so hard.
Anyway, just wanted to write it down. Good thoughts to all of you.
It is not stupid at all. I have just had my mums anniversary and dads is this week. I will personally kill the next person who tells me that 'they never die if they are in your heart/if you remember them' or 'they wouldn't want you to be sad'. Bugger that - I want my family to be very sad when I pop my clogs!
I know how you feel though - I was once wailing in the high street 'I want my Daaaaaaad'.
I can't imagine how it feels to loose a sibling though - tryuly awful I imagine. Mum was an only child and she was very 'lost' when her mum died as she had no other 'blood' family (not counting us kids).
It is ok to feel angry and sad - it is normal. Try to plan things on those days that will keep you calm and focussed on what is going on in your life at the moment, not what you have lost. I know, it's hard, but you will only make yourself feel terrible for a few days, and I find it gets harder to 'get over' emotional upset as I get older.
Just had the 3rd anniversary of my Mum. Hate it. Especially reliving every moment and imagining what was happening in the bits I didn't know about. The phone call from the hospital and that awful drive to get there, not knowing what was to come. My imagination seems to run wild and make things worse.
Am trying to do a craft project today for a good friend. Don't really know what I'm doing and my mum would have helped me. Got pmt, DH away for 2wks but at least DS is asleep! Sorry to go on but some days are just so hard and not many people truly understand. Unless you've been there, you can't, I know, but sometimes people could try. <big sigh>.
I am sorry you have had so many losses electric, that really is tough going. I haven't got any great answers but if it helps, I feel like you today. Maybe a good old tantrum would make us feel better? Might amuse our DCs at any rate!
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