I don't particularly have a right to feel sad but I lost my assistant a couple of weeks ago, and I loved him to bits - he was fantastic. Had been ill for a a few months so I thought it would be easy to say goodbye - almost a technicality - but somehow it seems less and less real with each day. I've even written him emails - I left his account up as I just didn't feel like I should try and erase him yet. When does the loss of someone you saw every day become real? Does it have to become real? Is being a denial a safe place to be or does there have to be a crashing moment when it becomes real?
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