toddler/new sibling nightmare - help!

[redheadmum]

my Dd is 2 3/4 and we have a 7 week old baby boy.

Dd is fine with the baby (if over enthusiastic sometimes!) but is really annoyed with me.

My little angel of a girl is pushing, hitting, throwing toys etc on floor and generally being v naughty. She defies me if I tell her off, and won't listen to me. She also says she doesn't love me, doesn't want me to change her nappy/pick her up etc etc

I understand that she craves attention and is doing this the only way she knows how, but how do I break this cycle????? I try to give her attention whenever I can, and on weekends spend some time with her on our own, but none of this seems to be helping.

After 7 weeks of this full on toddler assault I'm feeling very worn down, and really finding it hard when I'm on my own with her in the week. It's very hard when she is always in such a bad mood, it doesn't make anything go right.

any tips????

[tribpot]

RHM, just wanted to send big Junie hugs to you, sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.

I'm not sure I can suggest anything very practical, except is there any way you could get someone else to take ds for an hour or two in the week, so that you could have some more time for dd? Or even take them both so you could have a little time for you? (Not sure if that would help, except dd could see you 'abandoning' the baby as well as her!).

Take care, sending you good vibes ~~~~

[Prufrock]

Poo

Kids love it - so every time the baby does a poo get her to help change the nappy with you, and comment on colour, smell, size etc of contents. Worked a treat with my dd - it helped her to see her brother as something fun and got her involved.
Also try appealing to the big girl in her - I foster a slightly condescending attitude towards the baby (which is probably storing up problems for later but works now). I think you can treat your dd as really quite grown up so taht she feels that she is a special big girl helping you to look after the baby.
Do you have any time off from her? It is a lot easier to deal with a terrible toddler if you don't have to do it every day, and I found that nursery (mine went 2 days a week) really helped both of us

[Twiglett]

I always referred to DD as DS's baby

definitely did the poo thing .. DS was in charge of bringing clean nappies and taking away old nappy (in bag) and putting it in outside bin (big boy's job)

I talked about us having to teach baby to crawl, then walk, then talk

sometimes made a joke of what DD was doing with DS so we were both laughing at the same thing

and was really over-enthusiastic for the first few months

it settles down, its a lot to take in for a little one .. she loves you you know she's just scared and acting out

good luck .. its tough but passing phase

[Twiglett]

oh and we bought DS a tiny tears doll so he could have his own new baby (that lasted about a week) but seemed worthwhile at the time