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Help me with my monkeys please

(4 Posts)
Colonelcupcake Sun 08-Nov-09 20:18:15

Hi Everyone, apologies for the length

I have a 1.10 and 2.10 year old we shall start with the youngest

DS2, He is an incredibly willfull and stubborn little boy who has recently turned aggresive, this evening with no provocation he headbutted his brother, to my knowledge he has never seen this happen, he also runs up and out of the blue pushes his brother.

When I tell him off he looks at me as if to say so, and I often feel as if he is laughing at me (not sure if this is possible but its what it feels like) naughty corner doesnt work (I do it supernanny style by the book)he gets upset in it and will stay for the entire duration we chat after it and he seems to understand what he is doing wrong, I know he is very young but I would rather it didn't continue so I feel I have to punish him the same way I would his brother.

He is also a wild child, he is never still constantly flitting from one thing to the next and has spectacular temper tamtrums when he doesn't get his own way. (throws himself on the floor screaming the lot) he is hard work a lot of the time, but he loves music and hates being restrained in anyway going shopping is a nightmare, he runs everywhere to the point where I have to power walk to keep up with him. He also goes very internal and quiets at odd times.

Now my husband is blaming me for his behaviour and says I don't discipline him im to soft etc etc this really upsets me as I try really hard to control and discipline him but I don't know if there are other things I should be doing, he is like fire really

My DS1 is on the whole a good little boy, but this evening he stands in his door and wees all over the floor his potty is in his bedroom a bout 1m away and the bathroom is next door to him he has been potty trained since may and he did it himself, he is a sensitive chatty chap who gets unsure in new situations and has more than a few things that make him scared.

He is also getting the attitude of a teenager but I think its normal, as in I ask him to do something and he says no or I don't want to do that (he is a bit of a pedant in the making I think) He is very sensitive and crys a lot when his brother nudges him in his boulderish fashion over the top I feel in some situation and he too throws tamtrums but more since his baby brother started them up.

Any help or strategys would be great.

whomovedmychocolatecookie Sun 08-Nov-09 20:23:35

That all sounds very normal to me. Sorry. I have a 15 month old and a 3 year old and yes they have exhibited these behaviours before. It passes.

Your youngest is not going to respond to time outs because he's too little to have a sense of time yet. He just thinks he's made mummy make a big noise and go red in the face and that's very cool hmm Try redirecting him to something positive 'ooh look a car, I wonder if it'll go far if I push it weeeeeeeee' etc. rather than telling him off.

Re headbutting - yes DS has done this to me, mostly accidentally and you say 'no' firmly but there's bugger all you can do really, if you don't react more than that, it stops. If you make a big song and dance, he learns to do it again.

The older one weeing everywhere is probably attention seeking. Why not sit him on the loo and get him to wee there instead. Or perhaps he just wants to put pull ups on (he's very young to be dry at night. He's probably worried he's going to get it wrong and get yelled at).

Cheer up it does get better different as you go on.

Colonelcupcake Mon 09-Nov-09 07:53:07

Thank you for replying whomovedmychocolatecookie I love the way you are describing him thinking but how do I then make it fair to the older one who tells me to put him on the naughty spot would a quiet sit down on the sofa be better?

I will take on your advice about the song and dance. My DS1 refuses to wear pull ups or clothes for that matter at night, it was entirely his choice again, and we have only had one wet bed up until now, thats why the potty is in their bedroom in case of urgent need in the night as he will not use the potty during the day.

Thank you again

whomovedmychocolatecookie Mon 09-Nov-09 09:19:17

I think you just have to explain that he's not old enough to sit on the step and actually, he's looking up to his big brother so can he please show him what to do because he copies him? Tell your DS1 'you are in charge because you are the big boy, if he's doing something wrong tell mummy and show him how to do it right'.

I feel for you on the night time weeing problems. I've heard 'mummy, I did a big Plop on dolly' far too often!!!! hmm

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