What can I do about 4 year old girl wetting herself

[vanessaw200]

In the summer holidays, my daughter started wetting herself and at the time I just put it down to laziness.

She started school in September and I did warn them that she was doing it but luckily she has only wet herself once since being there.

But when she gets home it's a different story, she knows to go and often is gigging about needing to go, so of course I make her go cue tantrums! But more often than not she just wets herself and doesn't mind it at all or doesn't care.

I have spoken several times to her about and so has her dad but to no avail.

She was fine even out and about but lately even that has got worse.

It doesn't help that she likes watching DVD's and doesn't want to leave them but she knows how to put them on pause and go to the loo and she does do that sometimes and then next time wets herself. Even If I put the DVD player on hold she has a tantrum.

I have thought about a reward system, just no sure if it would work. She is a very hyper child and that don't help.

Vanessa

[whomovedmychocolate]

Have you taken her to the GP to rule out any physiological cause? If she is getting attention for wetting herself then I'd withdraw it entirely she should be cleaning up and changing herself. Also may I suggest a timer which rings every hour to remind her to go use the loo. Make a big fuss obviously when she does. I'd be very tempted to borrow a personal DVD player and keep it in the loo so she can ONLY watch DVDs in there for a few weeks so she associates going to the loo with something she likes.

[lucygreen]

i think she sounds like a child with adhd or dyspraxia who is basicly a good kid with great coping stratergies who is holding it all together to get through the school day,but letting go emotionaly and in this case phisicaly once she is back with you in the secure home enviroment or out and about.
so get her screened for what else is going on by a psycologist. i dont think the reward system will work in this case more a method to help her relax and unwind after school. a bit like a toned down version of the multi scensory rooms you can make for autistic kids.
i think if you say you are very tired when you get home from school so the fisrt thing we will do so as not to worry about any little acidents is to go potty and then a few prompts may remind her. if the prompts cause stress you can go for the you are doing well being a big girl at school during the day time, but you are still quite little when you are tired, so would absorbent underwear after school so we dont have to worry about accidents when you are tired help. the reverse psycology of this will give either motivation or security. work on other things that she finds calming and relaxing such as cuddles soft toys etc. gently try bringing the potty to the room where she is watching the dvd and encouraging her to go regularly. she will soon get the idear that its better just to go when called or the needd arises than mum doing that. does she seem regressive in other ways after school as in talks with a more little voice, sucks her thumb or whatever?