Very challenging behaviour in 18 month old

[Gangle]

DS is 18 months and turning into an absolute monkey in the last few weeks. He screams at the top of his voice everytime you try to get him to do something he doesn't want, e.g. change his nappy, put his coat on, take something away from him that is dangerous, hits/kicks us and the cat (not in a mean way, just thinks it's funny), won't keep still for more than about 30 seconds, throws food/toys etc etc etc. When he hits us or throws food etc we say no very seriously but he just laughs and carries on doing it. He is generally very loving and quite happy but just shrieks when he doesn't get his own way. Is this just normal behaviour for his age and an early taste of the terrible twos? And what should we do about the hitting?

[Undercovamutha]

I think this is fairly normal behaviour (IME they always hit the terrible twos well in advance of actually turning two!). You need to make it absolutely clear that some behaviour is totally unacceptable (e.g. hitting or throwing toys). I would use some kind of time out (cot/step) when he does really unacceptable things, or if you think it may work, just talk to him crossly/firmly. YOu also need to try to gloss over the 'silly' little things where you can. I think its all about picking your battles when they're at this age.

BTW I'm loving the 'challenging' and 'monkey' polite terminology . Give it a year or two and you'll be using a whole different set of words!

[BloodshotEyeballs]

DD has been like this for ages, she's 21 months now. The laughing drives me insane because there's nothing you can do about it. You tell them off or whatever and they just think it's a game. The more you protest the more she laughs.

On the downside, went out for a famiy meal yesterday and my nearly 4yo niece was doing exactly the same thing so we've probably got years of it...

[Gangle]

Urggh!! Glad to know I am not alone! I think far worse words than "monkey" and "challenging", believe me, then feel horribly guilty. Awful because sometimes my fingers just itch to smack his bum! Completely anti-smacking and sure it wouldn't do any good anyway but you just get driven to despair sometimes. We also seem to just be coming out of an even worse phase when he was falling down a lot and would have to spend all day bent over behing him or trying to hold his hand to stop him falling which he hates - so envious when I see toddlers walking along nicely next to their parents, DS has done this about once! We've also had to scrap eating out for the time being as usually turns out to be the most horrendous experience as DS won't sit still for more than about 20 seconds. Just so worried he will grow up to be a thug. I try to be undertstanding and patient but it just wears thin after a day doing battle over everything.

[BloodshotEyeballs]

I know what you mean. I see toddlers sitting nicely at tables in restaurants and I think they must be either drugged, gagged or have their bums superglued to the seats! If we don't shove a bread roll into dd's mouth as soon as we sit down then all hell breaks loose.

She has been walking since 9 months which has also been hell on earth. I looked longingly at people who had similar age children still nicely snuggled up in their buggies while DD charged off in the opposite direction. Ho hum...

[teatank]

hi gangle welcome to my world. it sounds like you have a clone of my ds there. mine is 17 months old and prefers to throw his food off the high chair when in a cafe rather than eat it etc. hes naughty about 4 hours a day. i think this is quite normal behaviour.

[abroadandmisunderstood]

Sob. The same over here. DS2 spends all day throwing toys, hitting things or people when frustrated, whinges endlessly and laughs off any tough talk.

I've tried removing every toy (we rent a house with a blardy stone staircase so the noise when the toys go down is endless and deafening), talking at his level, distraction techniques, praising in other areas etc etc.

I am tearing my hair out as it has taken me by such surprise. DS1 was a gentle, sensible soul at that age. This little monkey is another thing....I love him to bits, obviously, and he is awfully affectionate and we do have some wonderful Reading and singing moments but...