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DD behaves badly every time she has a friend over to play.

(14 Posts)
Pinkfluffyslippers Tue 06-Oct-09 18:48:04

DD (5) has just had a friend over after school and she behaved appallingly. After a snack, I asked them what they wanted to do and listed some things - the friend said she wanted to do dressing up, DD went into melt down / horrific tantrum becasue she wanted to do painting.

This meant I had to amuse her friend (doing dressing up) whilst DD was told to calm down and made to apologise. This melt down lasted about 15 minutes and eventually the pair made up and ended the afternoon as best of friends.

DH says she shouldn't be allowed to have any friends over until she learns to behave. (As today wasn't the first time this has happened>)

But how can she learn to behave if she doesn't have any friends over? At my wits end.


EccentricaGallumbits Tue 06-Oct-09 18:53:25

DD2 did this for years and years andyears. sorry.
she grew out of it eventually but having friends to play wasnever a joy.

piscesmoon Tue 06-Oct-09 19:18:01

At bed time I would calmly ask her what it was all about? How she thinks the friend felt? How she would feel if she went to somone else's house and they did the same?
Then have a chat about entertaining guests and making them comfortable and that things that she wanted to do can be done afterwards. I had to tell my DS not to make plans in advance. He used to get excited and have it all planned out, and then the friend didn't want to do it. Once he got used to not planning in advance, and deciding for the friend it was OK.

myermay Tue 06-Oct-09 19:24:45

i probably would also stop having friends over for a while, or threaten to call friends mum to come and collect if it happened again - and follow it through. Is she over tired? maybe it's all too much for her after a long day at school?

3littlefrogs Tue 06-Oct-09 19:26:15

She is too tired to have friends over after school, I think.

hullygully Tue 06-Oct-09 19:27:58

Completely normal. They're all bastards.

Northernlurker Tue 06-Oct-09 19:51:29

No friends round till she grows up a bit. It sounds like atm it's too much after a day at school. That's ok - she's still little more than a baby. JUst wait till she's older, less liable to tired fractiousness and easier to reason with. In the mean time you could suggest taking a friend to the library or museum after school then having tea out. That would be a great treat and give her a chance to socialise without the pressure of choices that being at home involves.

piscesmoon Tue 06-Oct-09 20:13:31

Thinking about it, I would say that people are right and she is just too tired. DS used to have friends home at 5 yrs and then want to chill out-luckily his younger brother stepped in and played with them!

TigerBitesAgain Tue 06-Oct-09 20:25:47

DS (7) has a complete personality change when he has mates over. He becomes a really obnoxious show off, he argues with them, he climbs on the table and chucks food about, and so on and so on. I drove him and his mate back from the cinema once and had to stop the car they were so awful (and threaten to ring the mate's mum to collect him, since he'd tried to open the doors and climb through the windows). DS made himself wet himself. He's normally charming and sensible (really). I think it's cos I work FT so he doesn't get to have mates over after school much and we tend to have busy weekends, but the rate he's going, this won't happen too many more times.

morningpaper Tue 06-Oct-09 20:27:49

agree with hullygully

Wags Tue 06-Oct-09 20:42:41

Oh the joys of a playdate! DD would at that age would be fine if it was a friend she had known for a few years. When we first ventured to having new school friends over it all went a bit pear shaped. I think she was so over excited, tired and desparately wanting it to be lovely that it always seemed to end in some sort of meltdown. What I ended up doing was just organising it a bit more. For instance with someone she was familiar with they pretty much amused themselves. If it was a new friend I would start with a snack on a tray and make it quite special, lots of nice fruit, something biscuity but only small and drinks with ice and straws. That would kill a bit of time, then let them play for a bit then I would get them doing an activity. I got loads of those cardboard trinket boxes, photo frames etc from Yellow Moon. Plus bits and pieces that we always have, pens. stick on bits etc and let them decorate them. DD loves crafts but I tried to make sure I got something she hadn't done before. Break for tea then they could finish off the craft afterwards. It seemed to work really well. They loved the picture frames most as I took a picture of them together then printed them out so they could put them in the frame. It really isn't as much work as it sounds. Now she is a bit older (6)I always have crafts or something they can do but I hardly need to supervise as she seems to have chilled about it all a bit.

Don't be too hard on her on yourself, its really, really normal however infuriating it is grin

Wags Tue 06-Oct-09 20:48:50

Photo frames and craft boxes, stick on gems. These all go down a storm and are really inexpensive.

morningpaper Tue 06-Oct-09 20:51:32

Stick on gems are great - I get loads at Poundland

Pinkfluffyslippers Tue 06-Oct-09 21:00:21

Thank ever so much for all your pearls of wisdom - I"m shall now muse on what to do.

PFS xx

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