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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

16months & Regular night waking

11 replies

JGU0204 · 03/08/2009 17:08

Hello,

I'm new to this forum and would like some advice / ideas.

My little one was a brilliant sleeper from 9 weeks, up until a few months ago.

I think teething started off the problem and still is a source of the problem now, but I also think that he is getting into the habit of us going into him, giving him milk (and calpol if he really won't settle (cause we think it's his teeth)).

I'd really like to get out of this habit so I'm thinking of leaving him for about 10 mins before we go into him to see if he can settle himself. The only other problem is his dummy as if this falls on the floor he won't settle again without it so I would like to get rid of it, but don't want to do both at the same time.

Any advice or how you dealt with a similar situation would help some extremely tired parents :D

Sarah

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JGU0204 · 03/08/2009 20:45

Bump - any thoughts would be appreciated. DS woke about 10 minutes after he fell asleep and I couldn't help myself, I went in to him, I could tell by his cry that his dummy was on the floor, the thing is, if his dummy goes out of his cot in the middle of the night he'll never settle.

Aaarrgghh, what to do??

Sarah xx

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zuzkah · 03/08/2009 20:47

Hi Sarah, I really feel for you. It must be tiring getting up at night all the time.
What I would do...might sounds a bit cruel though. Are you sure you want to hear it?
First of all, are you and your partner ready to make a change? As every book and my experience says, it's all down to parents being ready to change their behaviour in order to change their child's.
If you are, I would prepare myself for a few days - a week the most, for some heartbreaking crying and tackle the dummy and wakings together. Can't imagine how else you could do that? If his dummy is out he won't settle without it therefore you need to come in and so he will expect you to come when he's awake...etc. Never ending circle, isn't it?
We have done this (our ds is 20months now) when he was 10 months old. Gradually stopped giving milk at night and then just stopped coming in when our ds was crying. He most of the time fell back to sleep and after a week he got it and that was it. Now he sleeps from 7.45pm to 7am with no wakings at all.
Mind you, it was really hard to listen to him crying. It's only natural parents want to stop their child's crying but you must ask yourself. What's more important, the long goal of your ds (and you) sleeping better, being more rested during the day and more pleasant with more energy or a few nights out of your life when you let your ds cry to achieve a better sleep?
Btw, presume your ds is healthy? I would not recommend to let him cry for longer than 30-40min. Try the controlled crying, come in after 10min., lay him down, calmly say a couple of times 'sleepy time' and walk away again. Count on that the crying is gonna get worst for a bit when you walk out but it's about sending a message it's time to sleep!
Good luck with whatever you decide to do and hope it all will work out well for you. x

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zuzkah · 03/08/2009 20:55

And try to have a look in Body and Soul - sleep section. You might find more help and someone with similar problem there. Good luck

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JGU0204 · 03/08/2009 20:56

Thank you Zuzkah, I appreciate your comments and am quite happy to hear any thoughts no matter how harsh, I do know we need to do something, I think the dummy does have a big part to play, I know his teeth have cause him some pain, but I don't think that's what is going on at the moment I think since his teeth he has come to expect us going in to him.
I was going to wait until he could communicate what he wanted before I stopped his dummy but I think he has such a strong attachment to it now that it might be a good time.
I'm going to try be strong tonight and see if I can get DH to be too, didn't start well though did it with me going into him as soon as he woke earlier

Sarah xx

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zuzkah · 03/08/2009 21:10

I would talk about it first with your dh and make a plan. Don't start today. Once you start, for your plan to work, you must be consistent and strong. And encourage each other as it can be really hard. From my experience, if one of us was getting weak thinking I'll go to him, the other one had to be there to say NO, stick to the plan! And vice versa.
I think the earlier you deal with that the better as he will get stronger minded every day and it will take him longer to get used to a new sleeping routine. As I said, good luck with your little angel. x

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zuzkah · 03/08/2009 21:15

Oh and this book helped us a lot. Clearly written with sense of humour and with good support advice. Get it from our local library.

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Meglet · 03/08/2009 21:16

My ds was fab from birth then we had a few weeks of hell when he was 17 months old as his first molars were all coming through at the same time. It was worse than the newborn stage. I really sympathise with you.

I stuck to the same routine and once I knew all his molars had come through I had to be more strict on him and not go in at the first sign of grizzling and hollering, it took a few days for him to get back to normal but then he was fine after that. And strangely his second molars haven't caused him any trouble at all.

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sambo2 · 03/08/2009 21:16

Hi Sarah,

My LO is 10 mo and relies on a dummy to sleep. I have bought a sleeptot bunny (you can google it) which can hold up to 4 dummies in its paws. My lo LOVES it and cuddles the bunny to sleep every night. Additionally, I also 'scatter' about 5 more dummies around the cot so that he can find one if he stirs.

As for the dummy falling out the cot, there is an ingenious 'cot bumper' which is made from a mosquito net/mesh type fabric, which wraps round the cot - so breathable as well as trapping the dummies in!! www.amazon.co.uk/AIR-WRAP-ALL-ROUND-BUMPER/dp/B002CPO7BE?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Also, is your LO eating enough at night so you can eliminate waking from hunger?

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zuzkah · 03/08/2009 21:17

Your local library

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JGU0204 · 03/08/2009 21:40

Thanks all,

I discussed things with DH and he doesn't want to take his dummy off him yet so we've decided that we're going to try ignoring him for a while before going into him. DH isn't as strong as I am so I'm going to try enforce it for the first few nights and then see how we go.

I did look at the bunny but I'm not sure he would take to it now as he loves muslin squares as his blankies. He does usually have 2 dummies in the cot but I might dig out all the spares and scatter them round.

The bumper wouldn't be any use as he can stand up and drop his dummy over the top now.. a favourite of his when I first put him to bed .

I might try that book too, will have a look at the library at the end of the week

Sarah x

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JGU0204 · 06/08/2009 23:46

LO must have read the post cause he slept through that night ha ha.

He hasn't been as bad the last few nights and all week I've had to wake him at 7.30am so we wont' be late for work / nursery.

He seems alot better in himself during the day so perhaps he was under the weather and his teeth were the trouble a molar has just popped up so I think that may be to blame.

So although I haven't had to put your advice in to practice just yet, I'll bear it in mind if I need it soon :D

Thanks again