5yr old ds

[lisylisylou]

I haven't been on here for a while but now I feel sane. Need to ask you all a question about my ds and wondering if any other ds's are the same out there.

Has a Jekyll and Hyde character. When he's nice he is great, polite, funny, clever, loving. However, he can whine a lot, cry a lot (for a long time), he also tries to control situations as well. He can also say I can't do this (alot).

He's off in his own little dreamworld half the time. I ask him to do something like take his shoes off and I notice he starts picking up toys and plays with them. The only way I can get him to concentrate on anything is to put the egg timer on (he doesn't like this - but I have to).

I can be saying something to him and he won't seem to listen as he's too absorbed in something. However, his teacher has said that he doesn't seem to listen but one following day from a conversation about penguins he recited word for word exactly what she had said.

He plays well with other kids but being the youngest in his school and following his grandads death last year I do wonder if he finds it difficult or not. Plus he's asking questions about death all the time.

Sometimes, we can have really good days with him. We've had a hell of a day from him today though. We've agreed to do sticker charts with him as a way of helping him as he wanted to start this at home (does it at school!)

His sister who is 3.5 is easy going and incredibly happy so I don't know whats going on with him.

[fin42]

My DS who is 4 1/2 yrs has many of these traits.
In particularly the picking up toys etc when I've asked him to do something. He is particularly annoying when he's getting dressed and will be constantly moving around and unco-operative.
He also has quite a fixation with death and dying and will ask for countless explanations about the whole process.
He doesn't cry all that much but he has recently started using a whiney voice, but I think that this may be a phase (or at least I hope it is) and it certainly sounds very 'put on'.
I don't know if it's normal (or should I say common)for your ds to behave like this but I'm sure there are plenty of other parents out there who see the same traits and I , for one, do.
Don't know if any of this helps but it helped me to relate with what you've posted

[Othersideofthechannel]

Sounds pretty normal to me too.
It must be hard to deal with the questions about death phase when you've just lost someone. But it is just a phase while they work it all out.

[Blackduck]

doesn't sound unusual to me...My ds is 6 and still is a bit like this (less so now). friends ds is still 5 (youngest in the class) and he is still like this. They are still very little....

[3cutedarlings]

Have to agree with the other posters it all sounds very normal to me to, however i feel your pain!! i have a very demanding almost 5 YO DD who is going through a very controlling defiant stage at the moment! grrrrr

[floraflora]

Lisylisylou,
Have you read 'Raising Boys' by Steve Biddulph? It's really useful in understanding boys' development and might give you some answers as to why he's like he is. Great book, really informative and very readable.
Good luck.

[ilikesunshine]

Yes, my ds, just 4, is very like this. Constantly off in a dreamworld, especially when it comes to getting him to do anything practical like putting on shoes etc. He's definitely Jekyll and Hyde, absolutely lovely when he wants to be, but a complete bad-tempered so and so at other times. I hope it's normal

[socrosstonight]

Don't know if it's a boy thing. My son is not a bit like this but you could be describing my daughter.

[roseybump]

lisyisylou
I think I'm having a day just like yours on Sunday. DS1 is 5.5 and sounds very like your son. I think they are just little bags full of developing hormones and coping skills. I find DS1 is particularly tricky if he is about to get sick, is sick, is tired, is hungry (and doesn't know it yet), is thirsty (and doesnt know it yet) and generally anytime he doesn't get his own way. The not listening thing drives me bonkers. DS2 is 3.5 and by comparison is easy going although I do worry he is starting to copy his big bro. We use the egg timer at mealtimes but it seems to be making things worse. Have packed my two fighting snotty little terrors off for an afternoon nap - a rare occurence and I will pay for it later no doubt. I'm off to dig out my Steve Biddulph book - I remember there was something in there about boys having these bouts of deafness with thining of the tubes in the ear when they grow???
No - sod that - I'm off for a cuppa tea and a few pages of my book instead.
Hope things are better today? (wink)