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Behaviour/development

can someone give me advice?

14 replies

illgetyoubutler · 31/07/2009 21:25

hi! im new!how is everyone?x

i need some advice. iv got a 16/17month old daughter who doesnt talk! she only says one 'word' which is ''ba!'' or ''aba'' which she uses for EVERYTHING! me and hubby are now starting to bang our heads against the wall when she wants something, saying ba!ba! and gets worked up cos we dont have a clue what she wants!its so frustrating for all of us! i try to encourage her to form words in her mouth but she unwilling. on the flip side she understands everything we or anyone else tells her, she is really quite clever. she amazes me how she will pick up words or phrases after hearing them only once. sometimes things have been said in her presence, but it wasnt directed at her, and she will demonstrate or show us at a later time. so how or why she doesnt want to talk baffles me, and on a bad day (im 7months pregnnt at the mo')and my patience is thin i get sooo frustrated everytime i have to guess what she wants as its literally one ba! fits all! sorry if im rambling. im a first time mum so all is new to me. any help would be great. i will make an appointment to see the HV on mondy if i can, but would just like to hear any advice or personal experience from anyone on here.
thanks again xx

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moondog · 31/07/2009 21:29

It's not something you need to worry about really. A lot of kids this age don't say much. You give examples of good understanding which is an important foundation for speech.

I'm a speech and language therapist and my advice would be to not worry about it for a bit. If she's still at the same stage when she's 2 then I would ask for a referral to a SALT. Please stop worrying about pushing her to do things before she is ready. The best thing to do with her is play lots, talk to her, sing to here, read to her and have fun with her.

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DoThisDoThat · 01/08/2009 10:10

Hi there. Have you thought about signing with her? Lots of stuff out there - classes and dvds or books. It's very interactive as per moondog's points.

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moondog · 01/08/2009 12:25

Yes, signing is great for every small child. Go for it!

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illgetyoubutler · 01/08/2009 14:15

thanks for the advice guys! well, iv really made the effort to sing to her at every given moment today, and she has made a few attempts of little sing song 'coo's' and 'ahhs' so will that progress to sounds in the mouth? how long does it take, or is that like asking how long is a piece of string?!and am i doing it right by singing everything to her, like when i ask her if she wants some drink, and singing that im going upstairs, or is that OTT? i really dont have a clue??

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zuzkah · 01/08/2009 16:01

Hi, another one for signing here! My ds is 21 months old and he only says mama, dada and few other sounds. He is gonna be bilingual so not expecting him to speak any time soon yet! We do the signing thing, our library has great kids books with the signs for animals, food a general things. I'm mostly using only nouns. If I ask if he wants a drink, I sign 'a drink'. You ll see, she is going to get it so quickly! It's great to start with food I guess. My ds's first sign was 'biscuit' . Also expect her to make the signs her own, not always copying exactly as shown. It takes so much frustration of you and her.
And please don't worry if she doesn't talk yet. She is so little!

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suggy · 01/08/2009 16:36

My first DD had no language as such until well after 2. She is now 6 and the teacher can't shut her up. Her language was so slow we were still having her tested for deafness... as she kept failing the HV tests (the old ones where you expect a child to turn to a sound behind them... not very scientific).

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applepudding · 01/08/2009 22:55

My DS didn't say any more than one or two words at this age. I recall the HV saying to me that if he wasn't speaking by his 18 month check up that they may refer him but not to worry and we would discuss it then and luckily he learned about 6 new words the week before his 18 month check up.

By the time he was 2 he could speak quite clearly in sentences - basically, once he started talking he never shut up!!!

So don't worry there is plenty of time yet.

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Chunkamatic · 01/08/2009 23:06

My DS is 17mo and has one word - ball. Well two really he says book too but it is the same sound that he uses for ball so don't think that counts!! He says Mama and Dada too. He is always babbling away in his own language and I have started labelling things a lot more, so I always say what it is that I am giving him i.e biscuit, drink etc. We sing songs and he can sing along with the tune and do some of the actions, so I'm pretty sure his understanding is good. He can also carry out simple instructions...

anyway what I am saying is that your DD sounds very similar and i'm not worried. Like everything else they do it in there own time, and with my DS that seems to be just as I start to worry if he will ever crawl/walk/use a spoon etc!

My cousins 2 DD's didn't speak more than a few words until after their 3rd birthdays and now they are older there is certainly nothing worng with them!

I know it can be frustrating for both of you, maybe try some of the signing suggestions i've heard this is very good.

Good luck!

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chegirl · 01/08/2009 23:20

My 19mth old doesnt talk. If he was my first I would be worried. He is my 4th so I am pretty laid back. It helps that I work in child development so I see kids at all stages and ages.

He understands, he points, he pulls me to things he wants, I can ask him to do something, he recognises words and names.

So I reckon he is just fine. He doesnt need to say much so he doesnt bother IMO.

Signing is great for kids. I have used it for years. Singing is also a good idea.

You can do the 'ready steady go' as well. Use a ball or put her on the slide and start any movement (throwing the ball, going down the slide ) with Ready, steady,.......GO!

Within a little while she will be driving you nuts with that little phrase

Dont worry

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moondog · 02/08/2009 13:59

SIGNING I'll get you, not singing! [Although singing wonderful too so do plenty of that.]

[[http://www.singandsign.com/ This a great site. They sell dvds.I recommend them highly. You get signing and singing.]

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moondog · 02/08/2009 14:00

Sing and Sign

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illgetyoubutler · 02/08/2009 14:04

ta very much ladies. iv read through your posts and i do feel a lot more relaxed about DD's speech (or lack of).must say, i would never have thought of signing to DD, quite like the idea of that so will research it on the net. zuzkah: my daughter is a quarter chinese and i keep telling my husband and his mother to talk to DD in chinese in order for her to become bi lingual as well!and im trying to learn arabic myself so i can pass this onto her also oh and before i go, i was just told by a friend that "apparently, Einstein didnt say a word till he was 5" hmmmm....

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illgetyoubutler · 02/08/2009 14:05

thanks for the link moondog x

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moondog · 02/08/2009 14:05

Oh people always come out with that crap!
Yes, make sure they do speak Chinese with her.Be very sad if she can't inherit this.

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