why does my 2 1/2 year old dd seem to be going backwards

[LittleCheese]

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and DD is driving me insane.

She is 30 months and for the last 3 weeks seems to be unable to do simple things she has been doing for over a year.

She understands I can not carry her up the stairs (since im the size of a house) however when dh is around she refuses and has tantrums unless dh will carry her up and down.

She has been able to feed herself since being 10/11 months old and since being 20 months has been really good at not spilling food/drinks and using her fork and spoon. The last few weeks have been a nightmare with her making a complete mess and taking forever every meal time.

There are other things too such as her being very clumsy falling over her own feet, knocking things over standing on things etc.

Is this normal, is it just a phase/age thing or do you think its something that needs looking at more closely.

Thanks in advance for any replies

[Daffodilly]

Gah - infuriating isn't it. I have DS 6 mths and DD 2.8 who has developed similar behaviour since having a sibling. She wants to be a baby too.

On good days I ignore/humour her. On bad days I tell her she isn't a baby and needs to cooperate (I already have one baby to deal with). Not sure either solves it - just gets me through each day until this "phase" passes.

So no solution. Think it is normal age thing and probably due to impending change. Can only suggesting gritting teeth, taking path of least resistance and looking forward to next more (less?) joyful phase.

Good luck

[LittleCheese]

Daffodilly thanks for your reply i was hoping it was just a phase, I think its more infuriating that Dh really isn't dealing with this very well, he seems to have a very short fuse with her since she is acting this way and his discipline habits seem to be differing now which i think must make things worse, but hey ho ill grin and bear it....things can only get better

[jkklpu]

Quite common, I think, with no2 being a more obvious "threat" as you get bigger. Any chance you can do more overtly one-to-one activities with dd to show how important she is and how great it is that you can do non-baby things with her, eg puzzles, drawing, baking, running in the park? And don't talk too much about the new baby, especially if you know the sex and it's a girl.

But you're likely to have it even more when the baby arrives, eg say goodbye to any prospect of potty-training for a while as the new baby will get lots of attention for nappy changes, things like that.

[LittleCheese]

i am worried about number 2 arriving although if this behaviour is just a phase and something she will eventually grow out of that is nice to know.

we do do a lot of things together all those mentioned apart from the running at the minute. It is possible that we may speak about the new a baby too much though, i think i do it to try and help her feel involved but maybe i go on a little too much.

DD is actually dry and has been for 3 months, I am aware that she may regress when baby is born but i hope its not too bad.

[merrymonsters]

They do revert when there's a baby coming. DS1 was just 2 when DS2 was born. He'd been walking up stairs by himself for ages, but wanted to be carried like the baby. He also wanted to be spoonfed as well. I think it's best to pander to the need for babying. They need reassurance that they're still your baby. It does pass.

[llareggub]

Mine did the same. Number 2 is now 9 weeks and DS1's baby phase has now faded away...

[Daffodilly]

LittleCheese - one note of hope. DD was also potty trained before DC2 arrived. Fortunately she hasn't regressed on that one. She has asked to wear his nappies once or twice - which we do, but tell her they aren't big enough for her to wee in. She also sometimes wants a pretend nappy change - so we make that an imaginary game. But so far she has been fine on actual toileting.

Good to remember this and count my blessings!

[meep]

LittleCheese my dd1 was worse when I was in the last few weeks of prgnancy - I think she just knew that something was afoot!

About 3 or 4 weeks after dd2 arrived she seemed to calm down and get on with things properly again. She likes saying that she is a big girl and that dd2 is a baby girl.

I just always have to keep reminding myself to let dd1 still be a baby as she still is really and not expect too much.

But the refusing to walk up and down stairs thing is soooooooo annoying. I bribe with the promise of cbeebies (that is how bad it can get!)