Awful screaming fits/tantrums

[melmog]

Dd1, 3 in August, is having maybe one or two a day at the moment.
I don't know if they're tantrums as such as they are normally started by me stopping her from doing something naughty or dangerous, not her wanting something she can't have?

For example, yesterdays meltdown came about after I saw her pick up a hard plastic ball (one of the kiddies boule type) and throw it at close range onto dd2's head. Dd2 is 16 months. I have no idea how but dd2 didn't cry or seem hurt!

I ran over, told dd1 NO quite loudly, picked up dd2 and brought her into the house as I can't leave her outside on her own. Came outside again and picked up dd1 who was playing happily and told her she was coming in as she'd been VERY naughty. She lost it. Kicking, scratching and slapping me.

This resulted in me carrying dd2 to keep her safe, walking from playroom to sitting room and back again as dd1 chased us and threw things, tried to hit us.

I was trying to go for the ignoring tactic as it has always worked in the past but this went on for over half an hour.

I'm sure I dealt with it badly but I was just so angry.

Eventually she calmed down, came to find me and said sorry and we had a cuddle.

As I'm writing this I can see I handled it really badly.

But what do you do when your dc does something naughty and dangerous? Should I have just told her it was naughty and not to do it again? She could have split dd2's head open.

Most of these tantrums are over in 10 minutes tops and are caused buy all manner of strange things, including me wanting to go for a wee in the downstairs toilet where she has started going. Never been a problem before or since!

The distracting or ignoring thing normally works but yesterdays just went on for so long.

I've gone on too long, waffling, sorry!

Any help much appreciated.

[melmog]

Also, while she is in tantrum mode, she screams really loud and ends up choking, sounding like she's going to be sick. She never has been though.

She is like a wild animal.

She is normally a lovely, clever, affectionate funny little girl by the way.

[MangoJuggler]

Keep it up Mel, ignoring is exactly the thing to do. She is upping her game, pushing her boundaries to get a reaction IYSWIM so try to keep calm and carry on usual

[MangoJuggler]

oh yes, the choking

Again, ignore - if she gets even a whiff of OMG she's gonna choke from you she will turn it on more

BE STRONG

[melmog]

Oh thank you Mangojuggler. I think I love you!

I was sitting here thinking that of COURSE I was handling it all wrong.

My gut instinct is to ignore. It's just so hard when she's so loud and upset.

[MangoJuggler]

Go with your guts

(nice but you get my drift)

the VOLUME is urgh innit, and combined with the intensity double urgh

And say to yourself, 'it's a stage, so too shall this pass'