Following on from 'sexism at birth' thread - when do children get an idea of gender?

[PeppermintPatty]

Just wondering, as I don't think DD totally gets it yet. She's just turned 2.

She often refers to little boys as 'a girl', when they are quite clearly a boy and vise versa.

For example, last week she was playing with a little boy who was about 7 at a playground and she kept calling him a girl (as in "girl pushing me on swing"). I think he was a bit offended, but he didn't say anything. I just corrected her. To me he was obviously a boy!

[ShowOfHands]

It's interesting because from around 4 they get it consistently but until 6 or 7 they think it's unfixed ie they may be a girl today but they could be a boy when they grow up.

My dd who is just 2 understands that boys have willies and girls don't but that's of no use to her when people wear clothes. Unfortunately she has started asking if people have willies when she meets them. 95% of the time she gets it right but I don't know what she bases it on, hair length maybe or clothing. Should ask her.

[Claire2009]

Dd is 3.4yo & knows boys/girls/men/women.
Ds is 2.2yo and has no idea, but he doesn't speak very much!

[PeppermintPatty]

Oh I didn't know that SOH. It is interesting.
I haven't explained the physical differences between men and women to DD yet. I thought I would leave it until she asked / showed an interest. Do you think there's an 'ideal' time to do this?

[ShowOfHands]

When they ask is the ideal time. DD asked a couple of months ago 'what's that?' pointing at dh and then asked why she didn't have one and we explained. She's 2yrs 2 months. Yesterday she was sitting very quietly and piped up eventually 'Father Christmas is a man. Father Christmas has a willy in his trousers. Do elves have willies too?' Her imaginary friend Alex has a willy too she told me the other day but it's quite small.