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Please help/advise before I go insane! Dd 3.4yo

(11 Posts)
Claire2009 Fri 26-Jun-09 21:04:03

Screaming
Whinging
Moaning
Tantrums
Attitude
Rude

That's just some of it, it is driving me insane, I'm really struggling with her now.

When she's upset all I get is "I don't like YOU, I like DADDY" or "Don't speak to me, I want Daddy" etc

It's mainly daddy related, and there is NOTHING I can do, she sees him twice a month for 2hrs each time.

Tonight, she's over tired, they both are, and it's "NO MUMMY, NO JOE, I DON'T WANT YOU!!!"
She's being difficult most nights now, and I've no idea why! We've had a busy day, each day is a busy day, so she must be shattered, I know am.

Poor Joe, when he babbles he gets "SHUT UP, I DON'T LIKE YOU!"

I'm trying to ignore her now, because each time I go up it's ; I want Daddy, Daddy come back, I want a cuddle, I want your bed, then my bed, then Joe's bed, I want a wee, I want juice etc etc etc

She's never been like this until now and I am seriously struggling to stay sane here ..

Oh, and "Morgane (her name) needs Daddy" etc etc etc etc

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Anyone any tips?!!!

HELP!

PinkyRed Fri 26-Jun-09 21:12:13

I think stick with the ignoring. The thing toddlers want most is attention, so with my dd (3.5 yrs), walking away and leaving her to it means she calms down pretty quickly.

Sorry you're having a such bad time; I really feel for you - I think unless you've been there, you wouldn't believe how wearing this can be.

hope it gets better soon

Claire2009 Fri 26-Jun-09 21:16:43

Thanks Pinky, I just went upstairs and shouted. It'd been going on for half an hour, I'd had enough, she's calming down now.hmm

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Fri 26-Jun-09 21:17:26

Message withdrawn

Claire2009 Fri 26-Jun-09 21:19:12

Thanks RIMOD, I really fucking hope so.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Fri 26-Jun-09 21:36:22

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Claire2009 Fri 26-Jun-09 21:56:32

Thanks.

Bedtime routine starts at 6-6.30pm, bath, cuddles, watch charlie & lola, read a book, more cuddles, then toilet if needed, then bed with cuddles/kisses/i love you's.
The same for 2.2yo ds.

Ignoring is so so difficult, this has got to be one of the hardest jobs ever

I'm going to ask Exp to speak with her about this behaviour tomorrow, what do you think?

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Fri 26-Jun-09 22:09:22

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Claire2009 Fri 26-Jun-09 22:19:02

Thankyou again!

She is still a baby, you're right, but she talks like an adult, is very independant (I can't help her with anything!) has an attitude like a teenager.
I do have to stop & think, she is 3, she is a baby, she doesn't understand entirely, but she soo pushes me at times

I'm finding this 'three nager' stage sooo much harder than the terrible 's shock

Relationship with Exp isn't great, but with her asking for him all the time I was thinking maybe he could explain things a bit better seeing as it's him she's asking for?
When she doesn't listen/pushes the boundaries I shout, the other day she told me she didn't like me & wanted to live with her Daddy..

Proper Mummy guilt constantly going on here, I feel awful lately with her asking for him, I split the (d/v) relationship up. I know, it really was better to be out/away from the d/v but wouldn't see have had both parents' about then?

Oh, I really don't know

This too shall pass...This too shall pass.

linserella Fri 26-Jun-09 22:48:07

feel for you claire2009, i'm getting similar attitude in my 2.10 dd and trying in vain to avoid the "threenager" tag (noooooooooooooo!) i keep hearing it steps up a bit into their three's and there was me thinking i was almost through the worst of it with the two's!! i know how hard it can be being on your own, good advice from rimod, routine and mantra - she IS still a baby and this too shall pass (like that one v much!) don't beat yourself up, you're doing a brilliant job you really are, she isn't being consciously / intellectually nasty, she is simply seeing a reaction in you and that is as much as she understands / needs. try your hardest to switch off / walk away / get a cup of gin tea. hugs

duvet Sat 27-Jun-09 08:43:05

You have my sympathies i have an identical list with my dd2 3.8. I am wondering when it will end as it's been going on since she turned 3! She's driven me to tears on occassions! I've been very consistent with the naughty step a la supernanny and can only persevere in the hope that it will get better. But it is very wearing. Stick with it. Realityismyonly delusion - that's what we need to hear that it will pass and that I can enjoy her more than I do sometimes now!

So far this morning I've had a battle with getting dressed didnt like the choices, so left the room until she calmed down. Then on th naughty step cos she was shouting 'do it' to me to put video on before throwing case at me, eventually asked nicely. pls can we haveome more encouraging stories of it getting better PLEASE.

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