HELP..My 2 yr 4 month old DS2 still not talking.

[KEAWYED]

My eldest only really started when he was 3 and he is having speech therapy and is quite well spoken now.

My DS2 is not even saying mummy or daddy. He can manage a couple of words like mine, bye and gone.

He tries to sing to songs like fireman Sam and he can say the correct pitch in his voice and the right amount of syllables but no actual words.

I've not been lazy with my children I read and talk to them and Im trying to get DS2 to ask for things.

I feel like I'm failing him but I can't make him talk.

He can hear and understand what I am saying.

DS3 is 6 weeks and I am already worrying about his speech.

Please help..

[NorthernLurker]

Calm down!

My dd1 took ages to speak - aged nearly three she would only put one or two words together. This is NOT YOUR FAULT - you are obviously providing an excellent enviroment for your sons. They just don't need to talk all that much - but you know they understand you and can hear you so the rest will come.

Look around at your friends - some talk like it's going to be made pay per word tomorrow and others say about five words an hour. We're all different and toddlers are different too - your guys are obviously the strong silent types Just keep talking to them - eventually you'll have them saying 'mum don't you ever stop talking'

[KEAWYED]

Thanks.

I have been quite calm about it until now.
I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep with the newborn making me a stresshead.

When people expect a reply from him I'm jumping in straight away with hes not talking yet which is not good.

I'm fed up of people saying well my little one was talking loads by now and I know I sure ignore it.

I will think more positive. Hopefully I won't be able to shut him up soon.

[NorthernLurker]

I found it really tough with dd1 because her little friend was a total chatterbox and you do feel like people are judging you - like if you'd only fed them hand milled, hand woven lentil rusks or something you too would have a talking prodigy!

As you're in the newborn fog time atm you're doing well to think of anything beyond milk/Cbeebies/chocolate

Don't sweat it - it's good that people talk to him and it's up to him to develop the talking back - of course it is possible he just finds them very dull and has nothing to say to tham? Probably best not to suggest that though!

[BlueberryPancake]

OK my DS2 is 2y2m and saying four words: mum, yes, woof, burb (don't ask). I can really understand how you feel and it's hard when people tell you to 'relax' about it 'he'll speak when he's ready' type of comments. It IS hard, not because you feel that others are judging you, but because you are concerned about the health and development of your child.

Obvious questions: have you had ears checked? have you talked about this to your HV? Do you have any other concerns about his development? Has he had a physical check up - could he have a 'tongue tied'? If you ask yourself the question: if he'd speak, whould I have any concern about him?

DS is exactly the same as yours - he can hum many many songs with the correct rhythm and melody but no words.

Anyway, some tips (hasn't worked with DS yet, but they are good tips I think): don't ask too many questions, just say the words and there's a better chance that he will imitate you reather than ask 'say bla bla'. Let him lead the games, and try to (I know it's hard) spend 15 minutes of really good one-to-one time with him with no music, TV, books, just toys and commenting on whatever he is doing. Try to speak in simple three-word sentences. Have him learn a few Makaton signs to help with frustration. Do lots of sounds for airplanes, cars, animal sounds, etc... Do lots of beeping sounds if you touch his nose, just try to get him to make as many sounds as possible, even squeeling/screaming.

At least, DS is now trying to make sounds, wheras a few weeks ago he was as quiet as a mouse.

OK well good luck, I hope you get more tips from here.

[daisysue2]

Ask to see your HV they have some simple tests and may refer to SaLT if need be. Have you seen the HV recently. I asked for her to come to my house where DD was more at home.

[dannyg]

Hia my son turned 2 in May and is the same am starting to worry too, have appt with HV on fri so she can observe him, He can also fully understand what is being said and makes the right pitches for songs also. He says a couple of words and also has his own words for things which i understand. Im due to have my 3rd dc in 2 weeks so lots going on, will keep you posted after Hv on Fri x x

[KEAWYED]

My HV is coming tomorrow about my 6 week old so I shall mention it to her then.

He does sign words which has stopped him getting frustrated but that's not ideal.

What is SaLT?

Good luck with baby Dannyg your 3rd child slots right in to family life though I forgot how tiring it was. x

[pinkteddy]

SALT = Speech and Language Therapist. Talking point is a useful website that you may find helpful have a browse

[Dragonhart]

My dd is 2.5 months and I was really worried about her speach as she was not saying many words either.

In the lasts month something has just clicked and she is making the effort to say words (before she dident even try) and actually said a 3 word sentence afew weeks ago. The fact that is was 'ds1 hit me' took the shine off it a bit though!

I was so amazed at how quickly she has started saying more. Even sings the last word of each line in childrens prog themes (she was also singing but without the words).

I have done baby sign with ds1 and dd2 and I have worried that is has held them back from talking. They really enjoyed it though and it has definately made dd2 less frustrated as I could understand what she wanted some of the time. I also worried that as I have had three quite close together (there are 3.1 years between ds1 and dd3) that with having to give dd3 attention and ds1 being the loudest voice in the house she had somehow got lost and I hadnt made enough effort talking and reading with her.

But then I suppose there is always something to feel guilty about! Now she is talking more I am sure I will find them

[KEAWYED]

The health visitor came today about DS3 and i mentioned about DS2s speech.

She said we might as well start dealing with it straight away, She said he has excellent concentration and is very expressive.

I hope he has better speech than DS1, In the playground once he said very loudly "daddy have you got your big dick?" Obviously he meant stick!!! but had trouble saying his 'st'.

I could have died my husband was rather proud of himself

[pinkteddy]

tee hee . Is HV going to refer him?

[aristocat]

to KEAWYED theres no need to worry at 2yr4m its early days.
my DS didnt talk properly till he was 4
the main problem in being a late talker was toilet training - he wouldnt do that at all.
we used to have one/two words and that was it. his understanding was excellent and no hearing problems.
HV referred us to SaLT however it didnt help us as the children are not seen often enough. at first it was weekly and then it becomes once a term !
when my DD began to talk aged 2 my DS did aswell(even though he was 4) it seemed like he had better start coz otherwise he wasnt going to get a word in at all

anyway just wanted to reassure you that their speech comes when ready.

[KEAWYED]

Dannyg how did you get on with the HV?

DS2 has been refered [sp!] not sure what they can do, DS1 has only had one lot of speech therapy this year there seems to be a serious lack of funding for it. x

[TotalChaos]

some sites for you to read with good ideas and info:-

www.teachmetotalk.com
www.ican.org.uk
www.hanen.org

some surestart centres do chatterbox or hanen courses- to help kids help their kids to speak, these can be quite good. I went on a surestart hanen one for 9 weeks, they put on a creche so no worries about childcare.

some good books:-
baby talk by sally ward
you make the difference by ayola manolson
it takes two to talk by Ayola manolson
parent's guide to speech and language problems by debbie Feit.

agree with blueberry pancake's advice further down the thread.

follow his interests, give bags of time for him to respond, and look out for gestures and noises as well as words - so then when he does make some sort of response, you "interpret" it for him into words - "yes, you do want the ice cream" etc.

[KEAWYED]

thanks i'll look them up.

[NanaJo]

I could have written your post! My youngest turned 3 in April and was exactly like your son. After a year of weekly speech therapy and a special play group he still wasn't saying much more than a dozen words, although he is clearly bright and understood everything being said to him. Then two months ago, just after his third birthday, it was like a light was suddenly switched on. He started talking in full sentences. This was literally almost overnight. People were astonished. I think as others have stated here, children meet their milestones in individual ways.

[ilovesprouts]

my son is 2.6 and does not say much words ,just mmmmm ddddd and loads of babble ,he has gdd and has only just started to walk ,

[lingle]

Hi keawyed,

Both my kids are/were late as well. DS1 has outgrown all problems - he never had therapy. DS2 (3.10) is still in the woods but progressing fast since he was about 3.1. He needed visual cues to start exercising choices and understand what was happening next.

Mine both have/had receptive language delay which is quite nasty.

[saintmaybe]

Ds2 didn't talk until he was 4, but he has autism

ne thing we were advised to do was never to underestimate his received language, SO, really try to avoid saying 'he can't talk', etc, in front of him, because kids do tend to live up to what parents expect. I think that's true.

And ds has amazed us in the years since then; he's 10 and will refer to conversations we had in front of him when he was 2 or 3, at a time when he thought he was not listening/ hearing or frankly away with the fairies.

Most of the children we knew at that time with speech delays are now talking with no other probs.

Some of the work we did with him is suitable for any child, I think. Things like offering 'juice, or water?' and waiting, helpfully, for any hint of an answer, EVERY time. I don't mean witholding or ultimatums, just slightly feigning a bit of ignorance, 'Gosh, I'd really like to help you, but I don't know what you want'

Do do the physical check/ HV thing, though.

And some people just talk later.

[KEAWYED]

The Speech Therapist is giving me a house visit on the 22nd July to assess DS2, I'm quite impressed by the speed thought it would have been months before I heard anything...

[saintmaybe]

that's great keawyed.