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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Girls-v-Boys Are they do different?

30 replies

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/06/2009 21:23

I have a 5 yr old dd and 18mth ds

I am from a family of girls and the 'boy' thing is new to us all. He is sooo different to my dd and and know all kids are different but wondered what other mums think?

My dd at 18 mths was more like a 3 year old. Talking very clearly and very mature. We thought we had selective memory so we dug out some old videos and the difference shocked us. Ds is like a baby chimp. I have literally run around after him all day. Hes adorable and my dh just says 'hes a boy'

Any advice? Are boys so different? What should I expect/do different?
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CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/06/2009 21:38

anyone ?

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wineismyfriend · 14/06/2009 21:45

I only have boys but ime you seem to have to do alot more for boys where as girls are happy to entertain themselves. DS1 (4.9) has always been very articulate and active! but needs constant entertaining, I am hoping this is just what he is like because if DS2 18mth is the same i'll run screaming to the hills!

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TheProvincialLady · 14/06/2009 21:47

CHILDREN are different, not just boys and girls. My DS1 is a very calm, jigsaw loving little chap at 2.9. He plays by himself for long periods and doesn't go in for a lot of leaping about. Whereas his little friend of the same age, a girl, has always been a manic whirlwind.

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CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/06/2009 21:48

I know what you mean.I wonder if I would have gone on to have anymore children if ds was my first..

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CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/06/2009 21:49

I worry that I dont 'get' boys thats why I asked. I do know kids are different but its natural to compare.

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Tortington · 14/06/2009 21:51

this is like askng me to buy a sword and run myself through 'stereotyping' on mumsnet - but for you- ahh fuck it

my boys were what one would expect boys to be in a perfect enid blyton kind of way - they climbed trees, played in mud made guns out of just about anything - all the games were running and fighting - power rangers being a classic game

when they got hold of a toy pram - it became a race car.

ds2 did wear my high heals - and that was becusae he liked stamping on the kitchen floor

IMO - boys are at their best when they are being industrious. ask them to help you arry things - or look for things whilst shopping, or pain t a wall or brush the garden - its a line of thinking that goes i do this i get praise and reward.

dd on the other hand whingy screamed a lot - cried a lot - left out a lot ( 2boys one girl) wanted my attention all the time - one on one with her whilst the boys did somethng perhaps considered very dangerous like hammer some nails into the fence - dd wanted me me me - i colndt have a shit in peace

maybe there will be a differetn dynamic with it being an older sister in your household - in mine boys ruled

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TheProvincialLady · 14/06/2009 21:52

Perhaps it is just that you feel you know your dd better as you have known her for longer and she is an easier child at the moment?

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Insanity · 14/06/2009 21:52

I have a ds and a dd.

Having had this conversation with many mums with boys we have concluded that boys are way more laid back, will let you do everything for them, and tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

Girls are very independent and fearless (well mine is lol)

We did also conclude that perhaps second children are more independent as we are busy running around after the first born??

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mrsruffallo · 14/06/2009 21:53

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blueshoes · 14/06/2009 21:57

I just had this conversation with a carer at my ds' nursery.

The carer said they lay out a selection of toys for the children (toddlers) and they don't encourage the children to play with one or another of those toys. But almost without fail, the boys will go for the cars and the girls for the dollies. The only exception are buggies, which boys and girls like - boys, because buggies have wheels.

I noticed that with my dcs (a boy and girl) as well. But other than that, I would say they are both their own individual persons

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mrsruffallo · 14/06/2009 21:57

Custardo's post makes a lot of sense.
Ds loves to be helpful, and I have learnt to provide lots of outside excersice opportunities

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maltesers · 14/06/2009 22:00

I have 2 boys and a girl.
21 yr ds
18 yr DD
8 yr ds
Boys are nicer when they get older
Girls are horrible little cows when teenagers, at least mine is. (BRAT camp please !

Glad my youngest is a boy. He is a terror now and very boisterous but at least he will be more self contained as a teenager.. i think. My DD was a sweet little child and no problem. I prefer little girls to little boys, but now she is a monster. !! My older son was a bit more gentle than my younger boy but sharper with his tongue.
At least older boys dont pinch all your make up , shampoo, clothes and anything thats yours. They dont get under your skin and bitch at you all day.
Boys seem to be more immature and verbally less articulate. Girls very young are very 'together' and verbally very sharp and manipulative.

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mrsjammi · 14/06/2009 22:02

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mrsjammi · 14/06/2009 22:03

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CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/06/2009 22:07

Gosh thats so right.Ds loves to help. Bring me this.,put this away.Hes so good in those situations. He even puts his clothes in the washing basket after I take them off

I think in part I must be to blame. I knew I was going to have another child soon after my dd was born as I was already 36. I got pregnant when she was one so I guess I encourgaged her to be independant knowing another one was on the way. I lost my second dd (stillborn) and had ds when I was 40 so he is very much the final baby and I (in fact all the family) treat him more like a baby than a little boy.

I thought about this a while ago and have been make more of an effort to allow him to be a little boy which is probably why I am noticing the change in behaviour

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piscesmoon · 14/06/2009 22:16

Boys are very physical and need lots of exercise.
They don't chat-it is no good asking them anything about friends e.g. 'did Josh have a nice holiday'- they just look blank and say they didn't ask-if pushed they say they don't like being nosey!
12yr old DS once spent a week on a holiday scheme and got on well with one particular boy, as they had the same interests. I was shocked at the end to find that he didn't know the boy's name-apparently it wasn't important and he had no need to know it! A girl would have not only known her name but her whole life history, favourite music,what she had for breakfast etc!!

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piscesmoon · 14/06/2009 22:18

'so he is very much the final baby and I (in fact all the family) treat him more like a baby than a little boy.'

I felt like this about my 3rd and he absolutely refused to be a baby-he was crawling at 5 months and up horrendous climbing frames long before he was 2 yrs.

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CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/06/2009 22:50

I watched him when we were out today as he was running after some ducks and thought orrr wheres my baby gone?

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blueshoes · 14/06/2009 22:55

lol, piscesmoon, you are describing men in general.

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DontCallMeBaby · 14/06/2009 23:13

If you get, say, 100 boys together (what a thought) and 100 girls (ditto) you'll different vibes in the groups, and they'll be somewhat stereotypical male/female. But there's nothing to say if you drag a child out of each of the groups that the boy will be 'boy-ish' and the girl 'girl-ish'. Just slightly more likelihood.

My cousin's kids are a good little case study. Eldest is a tomboy, but in many ways is a 'proper' girl. Youngest as a toddler wss a stereotypical boy, ALWAYS on the go, couldn't be trusted not to climb things, drink the toilet water, pull the cats' tails, etc. Child's name is Rebecca.

My DD is in many ways a class girl - likes pink, princesses etc, and has started to go 'awww!' at the merest hint of a baby animal. She is also a fearless adrenalin junkie whose great ambition in life is currently to achieve a height of 120cm so she can go on the big rides at theme parks.

Actually she can have last word - aged 3, upon witnessing her nursery friend barrelling uncontrollably through the cloakroom, scattering other children left and right: "Frankie boy" [in admiring tone of voice]

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CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/06/2009 23:19

Your dd sounds like mine

shes a pink princess hannah montana kinda girl but is fearless.She will have a go at anything and your 120cms made me smile as its the first thing she does when we go in "am i big enough yet?"

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piscesmoon · 15/06/2009 06:55

'lol, piscesmoon, you are describing men in general.'

I know! It is hard being the only female in a male household. They all look at me as if I am on another planet sometimes and I have to say 'that is just what women do'!

I have tried in the past to use TV programmes to discuss moral or emotional issues with the DSs, but they just look at me pityingly and say 'It's only a story, Mum, you don't have to take it seriously'!

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pamelat · 15/06/2009 08:36

My DD is 17 months. I dont have a boy but all my friends (without fail) with boys say that they are "easier", more laid back and less whingey than the girls.

The girls are talking a lot more but also crying, screaming and demanding more.

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juuule · 15/06/2009 10:06

I think Dontcallmebaby is probably the closest to describing any differences.

My own experience with 3 boys and 6 girls is that it's more down to differences in individual personalities rather than gender. I would agree generally that there are more gender differences once they reach puberty (although even then I think some differences are still brought about by expectations of behaviour).

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stillenacht · 15/06/2009 10:17

maltesers - you have given me hope . I have 2 DSs who are noisy and messy and boisterous but as I teach teenage girls all day I am looking forward to (hopefuly) calmer teen years (please please please). Also piscesmoon - that is so true about the friendship thing. I have recently taught some boys for the first time in years and years and it was really refreshing - their 'lets give it a go and it doesn't matter if we cock it up' attitude was lovely when I am repeatedly faced with perfectionism and fear of failure from the girls. (Although i do love my pupils - they are great, they are much more wary of error than the boys).